weight loss

Kickball

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Tonight, I scored my very first run after a season of playing kickball.

It was GLORIOUS.

For months, I’ve felt like the weak link on the team. I’m part of a co-ed league, which requires a specific numbers of females in order to be official. The other girls on the team are current [or recently retired] soccer players, so I’ve struggled with the feeling that I’m the token “non-athlete” on the team; the mascot just there to fill a quota.

Of course, every member of the team has been amazingly supportive and encouraging and I know that I’m actually a decent player when it boils down. However, the feelings of inadequacy – of being picked last for so many years when I was younger – have stuck with me.

Tonight, I went up to bat for the second time and managed to get on base. This is an accomplishment for me, as I have a habit of kicking pop flies that land perfectly in the pitcher’s arms. I was thrilled to be on base, but assumed I’d likely get tagged out in a few minutes. Amazingly, the next batter came up [we had 2 outs] and kicked right into a gap in the field, advancing me to second and then third.

I was FLOORED.

I don’t think I had made it to third before, except during practice games and my dreams. I stood on third, checking out the loaded bases, baffled to have fallen into another dimension where I could possibly score a point for my team. My coach on 3rd base told me to “run on anything” and when the batter kicked a line drive towards right field, I floored it.

And I scored a run.

It. Felt. AMAZING.

While I wasn’t the winning run, our team STOMPED the competition with a 16 > 2 win. It was pretty much a murder, but we were celebrated instead of arrested and sentenced to life. Unless you’re referring to a life of awesomeness, which I’m sure we’ll all enjoy.

However, in the midst of all the high fives, I was able to truly celebrate my contribution. One of those runs was because of ME. I crossed that home plate.

Yeah.

I’m feeling pretty darn happy tonight.

So happy, in fact, that I let two of my teammates teach me how to do a cartwheel. Something I’ve been scared to learn to do for YEARS.

It’s certainly not a pretty one, but I can flip myself over without landing on my head, so that’s a plus.

Today was a good day.

Bon appetit, my friends.

~ Tori

Kryptonite

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Everyone has one. Or two. Or a dozen.

Everyone has that food – or that collection of different foods – that melts their resolve.

That food that breaks through all of the walls of determination, shreds will power into millions of shiny little pieces of confetti.

For me, that’s chocolate in almost all of it’s forms.

  • Chocolate Bars
  • Chocolate Cupcakes
  • Brownies
  • Chocolate-Covered Donuts
  • Chocolate Ice Cream
  • Chocolate-Covered Strawberries [That’s healthy, right? It’s a fruit.]
  • Chocolate-Infused Beer. [Yes, they make that.]
  • Fudge
  • Chocolate Muffins
  • Chocolate Cake
  • Chocolate-Anything Cookies

Yeah, I could go on for hours here.

I’m salivating at the thought of these delectable goodies. Why does this one food destroy every shred of self-control I can muster?

I WANT CHOCOLATE NOW.

Since I cannot control myself around these items, I tend to keep them out of my house. I buy fruit sorbets to satiate my sweet tooth and avoid picking up any chocolate-based candies unless I know the person I give them to will keep it away from me.

Is avoidance the only way to avoid over-indulgence? Must I be like Superman and dodge my kryptonite at all costs? Or is there a happy medium to this craving?

I’m still working on an answer to that.

Fighting a craving,

~ Tori

 

Just cycling along…

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One of my favorite exercises happens to be the one that feels LEAST like exercise: riding my bike with my husband.

This morning, we decided to crack out the old mountain/hybrids and go for a ride to strategically check out some homes that we’re interested in. The kicker, here, is that these homes are ALL over town. Literally. There were at least two miles between each property and we set out to see no less than six of them.

For two hours, we trucked around town, crossing from Orlando to Maitland, Maitland back to Winter Park, and then Winter Park back to the Baldwin Park area. If you’re not familiar with the Orlando-area, we biked roughly 22 miles. WOW.

Amazingly, the entire trip was a blast. I never felt tired [until the very end, of course] and I was in good spirits the whole time.

Perhaps the distraction of the sights, of having to meander safely through traffic, and the excitement of seeing our [potential] new home drove out the mental struggle that tends to accompany a long workout. I was entertained and enjoying myself, so it really didn’t feel like exercise. It felt like a fun trip with my husband and a beautiful day to be a Floridian.

This leads me to the conclusion that the easiest way to make exercise a daily part of your life is to make it a daily ENJOYABLE part of your life. Whether it’s a bike ride with your spouse or a kickball class with your best friend, a good workout is most effective if it’s savored and anticipated.

If you’re struggling to incorporate more exercise into your day-today, try riding your bike to pick up the few items you need from the drug store or suggest swapping your ladies night out into a ladies sweat-out and join a boot camp glass together. You can find tons of them – often free – locally by going to sites like http://www.meetup.com!

Chances are, you’ll appreciate the after-effects of a good workout much more than you will a night of heavy wine-guzzling!

Besides, how could you choose to go out drinking over rocking one of these awesome helmets with a friend?

Coolness: Defined

Yes, I wear this out in public. It’s the best!

On that note, it’s back to work for me.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

 

 

Sometimes, it’s just luck.

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I’ve been ridiculously busy the last few days. Between work, school, and working on this short documentary, I’ve been running around like a crazy person.

As a result, my gym-attendance has been sporadic and my eating habits have been decent, but not perfect. I was smart to cook ahead at the start of the week, so I’ve been relatively healthy for my lunches and dinners, but I still find myself raiding the candy drawer during the more stressful moments in the office.

And there have been a lot of them this week.

Miraculously, though, the scale has progressively gone down the last few days. The weight I had gained [that nearly sent me into a tailspin of depression] a couple of weeks ago appears to be sliding off as quickly as it snuck up on me. I’m both relieved and perplexed.

How, exactly, does that happen?

They always say a watched pot never boils. Does the same apply to weight loss? The more I watch the scale, the less it moves?

Could my utter distraction and inconsistency really be the key to gaining control over the teetering number that is my weight?

Hmmmmm.

That’s definitely something to ponder.

I’m going to apologize now for cutting this post short, but I’ve just yawned four times in a row and I’m pretty sure I’ve unhinged my jaw. I promise, my lack of sleep will pay off very soon, as I am pretty confident that I’ve finished the editing of my documentary this evening and should be posting it on the the blog tomorrow.

I will leave you with this note – sometimes, good things happen because you work hard for them. You bust your butt, you take the necessary steps, and you make the required sacrifices. But, sometimes, it’s just plain luck. I’m attributing this week’s weight loss to the latter.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type

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A few years ago, my mother-in-law introduced me to the concept of eating for your blood type. There’s a diet for that? Yup.

Basically, the book consists of four specialized diets which cater to the four major blood types: O, A, B, and AB.

As an A+ bloodtype [and GPA, I might add!], the book detailed that a vegetarian diet was the ideal program for me. Woohoo! I prefer a meatless diet, so this seemed like a perfect plan. My husband, having read over the book with me, decided he wanted to try to eat for his blood type, as well. He is an O.

Crap. The meat-eater.

Well, this was going to be interesting. Two opposite diets trying to coexist in the same household. Could it work?

Since I’m the main cook for the household [AKA, my husband only knows how to make scrambled eggs and flip a burger on the grill], I decided to review the food items that we’re shared between the two diets and try to prepare meals that worked for both of us.

Ummmm, yeah. That really limited our options.

Per the O-bloodtype diet plan, carbs were the enemy. [Boy, that sounds familiar.] His diet should be primarily composed of lean meats, green vegetables, and limited sugars, even from natural fruit. My diet plan was filled with soy, veggies of all colors, and strictly forbade most dairy products.

Together, we could eat broccoli. Awesome. Well, we were guaranteed to lose weight, that’s for sure.

So I decided to look at the column of foods that were “allowed,” but were suggested to be eaten in extreme moderation between both diets. That opened up chicken, eggs, and a larger variety of shared vegetables. Well, at least we had some commonalities.

Over the next four weeks, my husband dropped weight like a champ. Living on primarily grilled steak and chicken, along with roasted asparagus, zucchini, and broccoli, the weight fell off of him like water. Considering he wasn’t overweight to begin with, we were both stunned at how great he looked.

On the other hand, I was eating a diet comprised primarily of miso soup, pineapple, grapefruit juice, buckwheat noodles, and lots and lots of tofu. I gained six pounds. Huh.

Needless to say, I dropped the diet plan pretty quickly, going for a balanced nutrition plan that included lean meats back into the equation. One of the hardest things I’ve noticed with any vegan, vegetarian, or meatless diet plan is that I find it very hard to feel full, even when consuming meat alternatives. As a result, I tend to overeat, gorging myself with fruits and grains to try and satiate the hunger that never fully goes away.

Perhaps this is why I keep having bad results with any diet that fully prohibits any food group? Maybe it’s purely psychological; the moment you restrict a food, it’s all I want to eat. And, since I can’t have it, I find myself inhaling the foods I can have, trying to recreate the pleasure and satisfaction I assume the off-limit food would have provided.

Hmmmmm. Might have stumbled upon something interesting here.

Will explore that in a later post.

As for now, bon appetit!

~ Tori

Lifelong Journey

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One thing I’ve already briefly mentioned in this blog but haven’t really defined is what I mean by weight loss being a “lifelong” journey.

Many would assume that once we hit our goal weight, the work is pretty much done. A little maintenance here and there and not getting back into the habit of scarfing milkshakes with every meal and we’re golden, right?

WRONG.

It’s not that easy.

You see, when you lose weight, your fat cells empty out, but they don’t go away. You keep them, like a little badge of honor, for the rest of your life. Those fat cells ALWAYS want to be filled back up. It’s their sole purpose in life – to be full of gooey yellow goodness. So, whenever you present them with even the slightest opportunity to replenish, they will do just that.

With this in mind, someone who has successfully lost a substantial amount of weight must always be conscious of their eating and exercise habits, as it will be easier for them to regain the weight than it would be for someone who has never had a weight problem.

It sounds simple enough. Keep eating a healthy diet. Keep exercising. Do both of these, and you’ll maintain.

Again, the problem goes deeper.

You see, most people with weight issues [both overweight and underweight] more than likely have those issues for a reason other than food tasting so delicious. Yes, all of us are guilty of overeating from time to time because it’s so mouth-wateringly delectable, but those who overeat more frequently – and sometimes without consciousness of their actions or control – face a much harder battle than defying their taste buds.

Their battle is emotional. Psychological. Ingrained and internal. Their addiction to food can be so deeply wired in their behaviors, it may take the rest of their lives to even pinpoint the cause of it, nonetheless cure it.

On top of that, the odds are against you in almost every way to lose weight:

  • Fast food is cheap. How many dollar menus have a wide variety of salads on them?
  • Healthy food is expensive. Fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as lean meats, are double their less healthy counterparts.
  • Americans work LONG hours. Food has to be quick, convenient, and readily available.
  • Gyms and personal trainers can be expensive.

Don’t believe me that it’s a hard world out there for someone trying to lose weight or maintain their weight loss? Check out this article from Cracked magazine.

For those of you who may not click on the article, here’s one of my favorite excerpts that pretty much defines my case:

“Well, just stop eating so much!” Sure, kid. To feel what it’s like, try this: Go, say, just 72 hours without eating anything. See how long it is until the starvation mechanism kicks in and the brain starts hammering you with food urges with such machine gun frequency that it is basically impossible to resist. That’s what life is like for a formerly fat person all the time. Their starvation switch is permanently on. And they’re not going 72 hours, they’re trying to go the rest of their lives. Don’t take my word for it. Here’s a breakdown of the science, in plain English. It’s like being an addict where the withdrawal symptoms last for decades.

I can attest to the following:

  • I am ALWAYS hungry. Always. I can sit down to a meal and less than an hour later, be ready to do it again. There is a constant growl in my stomach which is often audible to those around me. I chug water, eat high fiber foods, ect – it doesn’t go away.
  • I think about food most of the day. I think about what I had for breakfast, when I get to have a snack, what I might want for dinner, etc. There is a constant chain of thoughts parading through my brain about my next meal.
  • My cravings can be paralyzing.
  • I obsessively worry about my weight, my diet, and my exercise habits. If I know I cannot make it to the gym within 48 hours, I get antsy. If it’s going to be more than 3 days, I will start cancelling plans with friends, family, and work to ensure I get to the gym. I can’t control myself.
Nachos... my kryptonite.

Nachos… my kryptonite.

So, with all of that in mind, please understand that those of us with weight issues, even if our bodies don’t currently appear unhealthy from the outside, are constantly in a state of perpetual journey.

There is no miracle cure. There is no solution. To maintain my good health, I will always have to stand vigil over the food I eat, the exercise I do, and the habits that I create. And that is why this is my lifelong journey.

Bon appetit,

~ Tori

Cardio-o-o-o!

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Anyone that knows me knows that I love to multitask.

Watching a movie, doing homework, having a conversation on iChat, all while paying attention to my puppy as he begs for snuggles. Yup, I do that.

So, as you can probably imagine, the concept of combining a workout with ANYTHING else is going to make me happy.

My go-to workout of choice lately has been the elliptical.

Why?

A few reasons:

  • At my gym, all of the cardio machines have a built in television. For some reason, the TVs on the ellipticals are nearly twice the size. Yes, please. I would have no idea about any of the current events and world news if it weren’t for these TVs.
  • The elliptical has a built in jack for the iPod/iPhone, which lets me plug in and jam out to my favorite tunes instead of the horrible music they pump through the speakers.
  • They have a built in DESK on these machines. YES!

Why does a desk make me so happy?

Because, as crazy as this sounds, I love to read while on the elliptical. Love it. I can stay on the machine for hours if I have a good book. I’ve done this quite a bit. When I was reading Good Omens by Terry Pratchett, I would stay on the machine until it maxed out [at 99:99] and then I’d refill my water bottle and start again. I lost quite a bit of weight the week I was reading that novel!

Some common responses I have to give:

No, I don’t get nauseous. [I get asked that almost every night by someone at the gym.]

No, the bouncing doesn’t make it hard to read. [The desk keeps the book stable.]

Yes, I can read my book and listen to my iPod while checking out CNN’s closed captioning. Thank you, ADD-generation.

If anyone has been struggling with cardio lately and finds themselves unmotivated at the gym, I would strongly recommend checking out the elliptical machine. I realize most people don’t enjoy multitasking as much as I do, so I’d suggest bringing a Nook/Kindle or downloading an audiobook to your iPod. Once you are distracted, working out becomes much easier. When I’m deeply engaged in my book, I forget about the effort I’m putting in. My legs just glide, my arms just pump, and I keep moving. The book transports you out of the physical redundancy and helps take your mind off of the workout.

If you’re not much of a reader, I bet a movie would have the same affect. Bring your headphones, plug into the TV or a tablet, and flip to the FX Channel. They always have a drama, thriller, or action movie on in the evenings, and that is bound to keep you engaged.

With that being said, I think it’s time I downloaded a new book to my Nook and got my lazy bum to the gym. Taking my own advice!

Happy workout and bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

 

 

Confessions

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Now that I’ve publicly shared the “before” version of me, I’d like to discuss some of the WRONG steps I took to becoming the “present” me. Yo-yo dieting and hardcore workouts aside, I made some very unhealthy choices regarding weight loss early on. I could probably dedicate multiple blog posts to the variety of diet pills I popped, hoping for a miracle cure for laziness and over eating. As dangerous as those can be, I wish I could say that diet pills were the most damaging thing I did to my body, but that’s just the beginning.

Sometime around 19, I delved into bulimia.

I discovered ipecac syrup. And laxatives. And diuretics. And, on some days, how to combine all three.

For those of you who do not know, ipecac syrup is a vomit inducer. It’s used primarily as emergency first aid for children who potentially consume something poisonous and need to regurgitate the contents of their stomach as quickly as possible. To get them to willingly consume said medicine, it’s flavored like maple syrup.

For a period of nearly a year, I would consume ipecac syrup after particularly fattening/unhealthy meals, which would result in nearly uncontrollable vomiting for a solid twenty minutes. It was horrible. I remember crying as I heaved over the toilet, praying for it to stop. Making deals with God to never touch it again if he would only make it stop. I remember staring into the reflection in the mirror as I washed my face, my eyes bloodshot from the exertion. I hated myself. I hated the face that stared back at me. I was ashamed that I couldn’t control myself – both at the dinner table and then afterwards.

To this day, the thought of maple syrup makes me nauseous. I have an immediate gag reflex if I try to have maple syrup. The Pavlovian effect hasn’t worn off, even though it has easily been eight years since I committed this horrible offense against my body.

I wish I could say that I stopped using ipecac syrup because I had an epiphany that caused me to suddenly love my body and quit the practice, but that’s not the case. I quit because I had read up about the negative effects it would have on my teeth. Superficiality caused me to drop one terrible habit for another: popping laxatives and diuretics.

I won’t become too graphic here, but you know the impact laxatives have on the GI tract. Off and on, I used laxatives for several years. I fear the damage I may have done to my intestines as a result.

And, the worst part?

I continued to do it even though I knew that the laxatives and diuretics didn’t actually cause weight loss. They just dehydrated me and pushed excess waste from my body, leaving me with painful cramps and weak with fatigue.

There was just something about the fake results – the low number on the scale, my ribs showing when I stretched – that made me keep doing it. For years.

I’ve only recently [within the last two years], fully given up the habit. My husband, once he learned of the behavior, had encouraged me steadily to stop harming my body.

And I would try to quit. For weeks at a time, I wouldn’t touch them. But I’d always slip.

I’d eat a REALLY big meal.

Or wake up feeling fat.

Then I’d slip back into the pattern, stopping by CVS or Walgreens on my way home and buying them in secret. Seeking out the necessary purge for my binge.

There were times where I took upwards of 15 pills at a time.

The discomfort, the pain – all for a lower number on the scale.

It wasn’t worth it. It never lasted.

It finally took me realizing that my health is more important than the number on the scale. Living a long life is more important than squeezing into a pair of jeans. Being able to see my future children have a healthy body image – as a result of my setting a good example – is worth more to me than the short-term satisfaction of achieving a weight loss goal.

Why am I telling you this tonight?

Because, tonight, I kept driving when I passed CVS.

I kept driving.

That, my friends, is a success for the evening.

Those are my confessions,

~Tori

Rewards

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Why is it, when we’re dieting, we tend to reward ourselves with food for reaching a milestone? Doesn’t that seem a bit… counter-productive? And, now that I think about it, we have a tendency to do this even when we’re not dieting. Food is the go-to prize for just about everything we do. Have you ever noticed that?

Got straight A’s this semester?

Let’s celebrate with some frozen yogurt!

Oh, it’s your birthday?

Let’s go out for a fancy dinner! And you have to order dessert – it’s your birthday!

You woke up today without hitting the snooze button?

Have french toast for breakfast!

I’m exaggerating, of course, but not by much. I think about the patterns of my family and my in-laws and 90% [or more] of what we do revolves around food. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as the dinner table often promotes great conversation, but does food have to be involved to bring us together? Is food the foundation upon which we have to build our happiness?

I’ve decided I want to try to break the habit of rewarding myself with food, so I’m compiling a list of other “compensations” I can give myself for my little successes.

  • A manicure/pedicure.
  • An hour-long massage. [Using a groupon, of course, because I’m on a college-student’s budget.]
  • A shampoo and blow-out, just for fun!
  • A new book, fresh from Barnes and Noble.
  • A bottle of my favorite wine. [Does that count as food?]

And, you know what? I think a few rewards should give back. I’m a blessed person and there is only so much I need in my life. If I’m not going to reward myself with food, then maybe it’s time to reward myself with some good feelings.

  • Volunteer at The Coalition for the Homeless soup kitchen.
  • Get more involved with the Special Olympics. [my sister-in-law is an athlete, so I’m already active; but I could always do more!]
  • Donate to the ASPCA. Whatever amount of money I’d spend on a celebratory meal, I’ll donate it instead.

While I do not know the psychology behind edible rewards, I’m sure it’s Pavlovian in some way. As a child, someone gave me a chicken nugget for successfully walking ten feet or a lollipop for not crying when I got my childhood vaccinations. Somehow, somewhere, it was ingrained in me – and likely millions of others – to celebrate success by eating. I’ve decided I’m going to reprogram myself, starting today.

If I get an A in my current class, I’m running a 5k and getting a pedicure.

Bon appetit!

~ Tori