Author: Victoria Elizabeth

Victoria Elizabeth http://www.victoriaelizabethann.com Bubbly and enthusiastic, I am a lover of all things pink. My writing style is as eclectic as my personal library, so you'll see everything from dark poetry to light-hearted short stories posted in my portfolio.

Food Guilt

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Anyone that has ever been on a diet – regardless of the extremity of said regimen – knows the concept of food guilt. It’s when you “cheat” and eat the food item that is on your no-no list. If you’re on an Atkins diet, that’s any type of carb: pasta, rice, fruit, etc. If you’re on the Paleo diet, that’s anything processed and beans: peanuts, soy, milk, etc. If you’re on a low calorie diet, it’s basically anything that tastes good.

Today, I’m experiencing some pretty severe food-guilt. You see, I’ve been doing this quasi-vegetarian thing for several weeks and I’ve been feeling really good about myself. I haven’t really been doing it as a weight loss regimen; I’ve been primarily doing it because I was feeling bad about eating so many cute, fuzzy little animals. I know, I know – I’m silly. But, as I’ve said in previous posts, I have a hard time differentiating between my adorable 8lb Chihuahua and a 10 lb baby piglet. Both are equally inquisitive, furry, and adorable. With that in mind, eating copious amounts of meat has been a moral dilemma for some time. I finally just decided to throw in the towel and dive back into the world of tofu and beans again.

With that being said, I fell off of the wagon today. You see, there is a little sandwich shop walking distance from my office. It’s owned by the nicest little Indian couple in the world. In addition to offering the basics – you know, sandwiches, burgers, etc – they also have daily specials which are frequently hand-prepared dishes of Moroccan, Indian, and African influence. They’ve had exotic soups, killer falafels, and mouth-watering curries. One thing they have on the menu frequently is a dish called: Chicken Tikka. It’s a yogurt marinated chicken served over basmati rice, which includes salad and naan. Before I dove back into the vegetarian world, this was quickly becoming my favorite meal.

I’ve managed, quite successfully, to avoid this delicious temptation for weeks. A few coworkers have gotten it and I’ve managed to avoid the delicious scent wafting my direction, happily munching my salad instead.

Today, however, I caved. And I caved HARD.

Not only did I order this delectable dish, I ate all of it within minutes. Pretty sure I didn’t even fully chew the chicken – I just swallowed it whole. To top it off, I followed the meal with half a Snickers bar [ah!] and a piece of beef jerky. Really, Tori? Beef jerky?

So, at the moment, I’m wallowing in a bit of food guilt. Granted, it could have been much worse – I could have sat down to deep-fried pigs feet or something atrocious – but still, I’m not happy with myself.

I realize that food guilt is NOT a healthy emotion nor is it worthwhile. That doesn’t make it go away, though. Whatever diet I’m on results in the constant threat of potential food guilt. So why, exactly, do we do this to ourselves?

Perhaps, somewhere deep inside us, we like to feel guilty once in a while. The remorse is so painful that it keeps us on the straight and narrow the majority of the time, primarily we don’t want to feel that sucky again for a long time. The food guilt makes us stick to our diet plan at least a few days longer. Right?

I think I might be stretching here. The food guilt has made my brain malfunction.

Tikka or death!

Tori

Vegan? Yeah, I’ve tried that, too.

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Like many people, I’m an animal lover. I have two pet Chihuahuas that are my life and soul. Unlike many other people, I have a very hard time disassociating them with other animals. It’s difficult for me to look at a pig, or a cow, or a chicken and not see the same innocence and cuteness that I see in my pets. For that reason, I’ve sampled the vegetarian and vegan lifestyles many times over the last three decades of my life.

For those that do not know, there are MULTIPLE levels to this sort of thing. Multiple.

Here’s a quick summary of all the different types of vegetarians/vegans out there. Prepare to have your mind blown by the varieties out there, folks:

  • Flexitarian: Tries to avoid meat, but occasionally allows themselves to indulge. These people tend to do this as a “humane” effort and not necessarily as a health issue.
  • Pescatarian: Avoids chicken, pork, and red meat, but considers fish & seafood to be acceptable for consumption. They are also OK with eating animal products, such as dairy and eggs.
  • The Basic Vegetarian: Avoids meat things cooked in meat-bases, such as chicken-stock, beef-stock, etc. They tend to focus on plant and soy based foods and are OK with the consumption of dairy, eggs, honey, and many other animal by-products.
  • Ovo-Vegetarian: All of the above, but avoids dairy and dairy by-products. No milk for these peeps!
  • Lacto-Vegetarian: Same as the basic vegetarian, except they permit the consumption of dairy but avoid eggs and egg-containing products, as they consider it to be an unfertilized embryo. Ewwww.
  • Ovo-Lacto: Avoids meat, dairy, and eggs as well as their by-products.
  • Vegan: The extreme version of vegetarian. No meat, no dairy, no eggs, no honey, or any other product that results from the use of animals. True vegans will not use make-up tested on animals, wear leather, or even use vitamins that contain stearic acid or another other potential animal derivatives. This can even include something as simple as yellow dye #5, which is a pork derivative. As someone allergic to pork [sucks, I know], I’ve already learned how to avoid these foods.
  • Fruitarian: EXTREME. These people only eat the “fruit” of plants – think apples, tomatoes, bananas, etc. They will not eat root vegetables, as that kills the plant. Not sure how you can live like this, but so be it.

I’ve heard a rumor that there is ANOTHER level of extremist vegan, which somehow involves living on the microbes in the air and the healing effects of the sun. Um. Yeah. That’s not happening.

Currently, I’m in a stage between vegetarian and vegan. I’m trying to avoid eggs and dairy products, but find myself cheating often. I’ve successfully avoided meat for almost two weeks, primarily because I freaking LOVE Boca Burgers and Morningstar Farms products. And don’t get me started on Gardein – nom nom nom!

However… I also really, really love cheese. Almond milk cheese – as good as it is – really doesn’t compare. I’ve never been a milk drinker, so I don’t really miss out in that area. I eat soy yogurts, use coconut based creamer for my coffee, and eat pints of coconut and rice-milk ice cream like it’s going out of style. Just CHEESE kills me.

I’ll be honest with you, though. I haven’t lost a pound. Nor have I gained, though, but that’s through conscious effort on my part. I can see how easily I could gain weight this way, as it’s very easy to get lazy and just sit down with a giant bowl of rice or pasta. That seems to be the “vegetarian-option” at most restaurants, too, so I’m learning to just order big salads and ask for the meat to be replaced with extra veggies. It’s an extra step on the part of the server, but it’s worth it for the damage that would otherwise happen to my waistline.

For those considering a vegan diet, I’d strongly suggest checking out the following blog:

http://howilost150pounds.wordpress.com/

This guy is my HERO.

Bon appetit!

~ Tori

The Paleo Diet

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Just this year, I was introduced to the Paleo Diet by a good friend. In addition to losing weight, she had noticed substantial improvement in her natural energy, her skin was clearing, and her hair and nails were growing healthier.

For those unfamiliar with the Paleo diet, it basically consists of eating the same diet that our Paleolithic ancestors followed. Lean grass-fed [free range] meats, organic fresh vegetables, fruits with their skin, and nuts. There is a bit of disagreement and contradiction regarding dairy, but most diet forums I’ve read recommend the total avoidance of milk and milk products, whereas some advocate dairy in its raw, unprocessed form.

In addition to dairy, the diet also prohibits the ingestion of grains [goodbye, whole wheat bread, pasta, rice, and corn!] as well as peanuts and other forms of legumes. Oh, and no soy.

No soy? But that’s in everything.

Yes. Soy is in almost everything. I truly feel bad for those people with soy allergies because, good God, soy is in practically everything in the grocery store except for raw fruits and veggies. It’s insane.

In August 2012, I decided to attempt the Paleo diet, impressed by my friend’s amazing results. Besides, the no-no list was short compared to the Atkins diet, right?

WRONG.

As amazing as this diet is – encouraging food in its natural state and avoiding processed crap – it is very difficult to maintain unless you can prepare the majority of your meals from scratch.

I followed the Paleo diet religiously from August 2012 until December 2012, dropping almost 12 pounds in the process. Yes, I was able to eat significantly more calories per day, coming close to 2,200-2,500 a day when you factored in the raw nuts I ate by the handful. However, purchasing only organic fruits, veggies, and meat was killing me at the grocery store [it was close to $175/week for myself alone] and I was having to prepare my breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily.

I did get into a good rhythm, learning to prepare certain things in large batches to store, but I still found myself in the kitchen a solid 10 hours per week to maintain the diet.

A few resources I came across that really made the Paleo diet much easier:

 

Overall, this is a great diet plan for someone who can either:

a.) Afford to eat out at organic restaurants all the time .

(or)

b.) Has time to bargain-shop for organic/free-range products AND do all of their own cooking.

I can’t deny that I did lose weight, never felt hungry, and my skin improved dramatically as a result of this diet.

I fell off of the wagon over the holidays and have been unable to fully recommit to the program, primarily because I love Boca Burgers [soy & beans!] and cheese is as necessary to me as oxygen. While there are almond-milk cheese alternatives, nothing compares to the delicious flavor of a baked brie with crusty French bread.

Drool.

Bon appetit!

~ Tori

The Atkins Diet

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Sometime in high school, I was introduced to the concept of the Atkins diet. At the time, I was close to 190 pounds and hanging out with the boys on the weightlifting team. My diet was similar to the boys, as well. I’m pretty sure I was consuming close to 5,000 calories a day, plus or minus 1,500. I didn’t count calories so much back then, as I felt I had found a community among my fellow over-eaters.

In science class, I overheard one of the popular girls chatting with a classmate about a new diet. It consisted of eating copious amounts of cheese, beef jerky, sausages, and other mouth-watering items. In fact, I’m quite certain I was drooling on my binder in the row behind them. I had never heard of a diet that allowed you to eat horrifically fatty foods and still lose weight. Had I overheard a discussion on diet Utopia? This couldn’t be true.

When I got home from school, I turned on my computer and signed on to AOL, the cacophonous dial-up a harmonious backdrop to my inhalation of potato chips. I’m dating myself with this one, I’m sure.

I typed into the search engine something along the lines of “cheese and meat diet” and the Internetz poured out information on the hallowed Atkins diet. It existed!

After approximately twelve minutes of intensive research, I declared myself an expert on the subject and a renowned nutritionist. I realized it was time to stage an intervention on the refrigerator, which was packed with unhealthy foods, such as fresh apples, green grapes, whole grain bread, and other vile atrocities of good nutrition. Was my mother trying to kill me? Gah!

I threw away everything that so much as resembled a fruit, a grain, or a starchy vegetable, debating whether or not a call to the DCF was too extreme in this particular case of child abuse. After deciding to let it slide this one time, I pulled some money out of my hidden stash and grabbed my book bag, intent on restocking the fridge.

I biked the two miles to Winn Dixie, the only grocery store in our suburb, and proudly grabbed a cart, prepared to save my family from the path of obesity.

[I should probably interject at this point to note that both my mother and father are thin, healthy, normal people who eat well, exercise, and probably have NO IDEA where my weight obsession came from.]

I stocked up on packages of turkey bacon, ground beef, cheese, sour cream, and gallons of heavy cream. Did you know you can eat whipped cream right from the can as long as you choose the sugar-free kind? This was going to be the best diet of my life. I was going to get skinny AND eat double cheeseburgers? HOORAH!

I returned home with my loot, much to the shock and dismay of my parents. Unfortunately, I was at an age where they couldn’t really regulate or control my diet, as I was old enough to make my own food choices and dumb enough to think I was capable of making these decisions.

I won’t go into too many details about the Atkins diet, but let’s just say its affects on the GI track are less than attractive. In fact, in less than two weeks of a strict diet of melted cheese on top of fried meat and I was in the doctor’s office. I didn’t lose weight, but I definitely learned that moderation is key when it comes to fried, cheese-encrusted anything.

While I do feel a diet low in white, refined sugars is likely a good thing, an extreme low-carb diet, such as Atkins, can be a bit too much for any rational human being. Or at least this one.

Fruits & veggies are a good thing, especially for your intestines,

Tori

The first step to facing a problem…

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My name is Victoria but everyone calls me Tori. Like most thirty-somethings, I’m a blend of narcissism, insecurity, and optimism. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a writer but I’ve never really known where to start. In 2011, I jumped back into school, majoring in Creative Writing, and it opened a gateway of opportunities for me. Despite this, the creative process has never come easily for me. You see, I love to write but I struggle with inspiration.

The majority of my free time is spent reading, in which I am constantly in awe of the ability of all of these people to create such incredible stories. Five to seven hundred pages of characters, plots, and subplots that they somehow all managed to tie together; how do they DO that?

I’m thirty-three years old and clinging to a dream: I want to publish a novel and I want to change the world with my words. Small aspirations, right? Certainly not too much to ask of myself at this point in my life. Now I just have to think of something to write.

After another one of my many (practically daily) quarter life crises phone calls to my mother in my late 20s, she suggested something so simple, so prolific… I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it on my own. I could barely listen to the rest of our conversation because all I wanted to do was hang up, grab my laptop, and start writing.

“Tori, honey, you need to start by writing something you know. Something that’s a part of you. Something that you consider yourself an expert on. Do you have anything like that?”

Why, yes I do, Mom… yes, I do.

You see, ever since I can remember I have been on some sort of diet. From white rice and water diets to beef and cheese diets, I’ve tried every diet under the sun. Want to know about Atkins? I’m your resident expert. Trying to cut calories? Please allow me to suggest one hundred different low-calorie dessert recipes. Why yes, they are tasty — I’ve tried them all. In large quantities, I might add.

Was there an exact day in my life that I can pinpoint the beginning of my yo-yo dieting? Not sure if I can identify a specific moment but I do recall memories that I’m certain have dramatically shaped my life, some as early as elementary school.

So it began, sometime in middle school I would guess… the calorie counting, fat cutting, carb trimming, cardio-blasting routine that I’d turn on and off like a light switch from childhood through teen years and am now dragging with me as I approach thirty. Some days I wake up with an OCD-like fixation on my diet and exercise regime and other days I couldn’t give a damn one way or another. I cannot recall one day in my adult life where I didn’t worry about what I put into my mouth (or didn’t put into my mouth, for that matter) or how much exercise I needed to do to balance out a binge I had already finished or was about to undertake.

My name is Tori and I’m a yo-yo dieter.

This is my life.

Welcome to the journey.