Seeking Balance: Can Keto Work for Me?

I know I’ve talked for years (and years and years) on this blog about striving to find balance with my diet.

As someone recovering from an eating disorder (specifically: bulimia), I have to be very careful when it comes to creating concrete rules around food. The more rules I set, the more likely I am to become obsessive, to binge, to feel guilt, and then to purge. Not a healthy cycle.

On Instagram, I try to follow people who motivate and inspire me. I follow several fitness gurus, weight loss winners, and motivational pages to keep myself in a positive mindset. As of late, ALL I see on Instagram is a nearly incessant push toward the Ketogenic lifestyle.

Here’s my issue: I want to do it, but DAMNNNN it’s hard to cut out sugar. Yes, there are billions of low carb substitutes for everything now, but as someone who loves to run and do steady-state cardio, carbohydrates are really hard to wean yourself off of.

Every time I start my morning, it’s with the intent of attempting a low carb/ high fat diet. I prep breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks and start my day with great intentions to stick to it. However, somewhere around 3-4pm, when the impact of my morning run (or the looming knowledge of my evening workout surfaces) kicks in and I start SERIOUSLY jonesing for something sweet.

My struggle is that I can’t stop with one bite of something sweet. It must be because I’ve set a “rule” that I have to avoid carbs in my mind, because once I cave in and have that bite of something sweet, I’m like a shark with blood in the water. I can’t stop. No matter how full I am, no matter how many healthy snacks I’ve packed, I’m full-blown sugar binge mode. And, of course, this wreaks havoc on my self-esteem and body, since the headache following a sugar binge is nearly paralyzing to someone who normally minimizes carbs.

Does this mean I can’t attempt Keto? Is it too restrictive? Does a diet that truly inhibits carbohydrate consumption not work for someone recovering from an eating disorder?

I see so many success stories and have so many friends for whom the Keto diet has been a god-send, but I just can’t seem to make it more than a day or two no matter how much I mentally and physically prepare. Does anyone else have this problem?

Fall Down Nine Times, Get Up Ten

I’m not sure how long it has been since my last post and, admittedly, I’m scared to check.

It’s been a while. A long while.

The last few years have been a whirlwind. After a nearly four year journey, I finally completed my Master’s degree on Saturday, May 12th. In addition to absorbing the education, I also managed to pack on at least twenty-five pounds onto my 5’3″ frame.

torigrad

While I’m still no where close to the obesity of my teenage years, I’m deeply disappointed in the fall back into my overeating habits. I’ve always been an emotional eater, and the coupling of high stress and desk-bound studying (e.g. research papers!) pushed me back into my mindless eating habits.

Fortunately, it didn’t all go to hell.

As you probably remember, I got into distance-running in 2016 and I’ve continued long-distance running throughout graduate school. Granted, it couldn’t prevent the weight gain completely, but it did taper it/inhibit it a tiny bit.

Now that my graduation is almost two weeks behind me, I realize it’s time for me to drop my excuses and pick back up on the habits that made me successful:

Tracking calories.
Exercising daily.
Strength-training 3-4 days per week.
Posting here.

Having a community of like-minded friends with me on the journey keeps me honest and accountable, so it’s time I tap back into my best resource: all of you!

My journey restarts today: Thursday, May 24th at 5:14pm EST.

Height: 5’3″
Weight: 148.8 (up from my all time low of 123.4 in June 2014)
Pant Size: 6/7
Shirt Size: S/M

Let’s do this, friends!

~ Tori

AKA, the Yo-Yo Dieter

 

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Track Shack Ladies 5k – Saturday, 2.1.2014

Track Shack Ladies 5k - Saturday, 2.1.2014

Bright and early on Saturday morning, I ran a 5k as part of the Track Shack Winter Series and to follow through with my New Year’s Resolution to get out of the GYM and back to the outdoors!

It was a cool, humid morning and a scenic route through Mead Gardens made the run unusually easy. In fact, I set a PR of 28:14, the fastest time I’ve ever recorded – and that’s counting treadmill runs!

I took this picture immediately post-race (I tried to capture the massive crowd at the finish line behind me) because I wanted to remember this moment: how PROUD I felt of myself for setting a goal (get outdoors & run under a 29 minute 5k) and achieving it.

As my fellow yo-yos will likely attest, it’s easy to forget the successes you have on your journey to fitness, but oh-so-easy to linger on your setbacks and failures. To help remind myself of how far I’ve come, I’m making a conscious effort to take photos (even if they have to be the baneful selfies, like this one), just to ensure that I can’t deny myself the joy of this memory.

My next run is coming up on February 15th: The Run Around the Pines! It’s the best course in Winter Park as it’s flat, scenic, and not overly crowded. My goal is to break the 28:00 minute mark! Wish me luck!

Bon appetit and happy journey, my friends!

~ Tori