Physically Impossible? Not for me.

So, the trend of good Mondays has come to an end.

After nearly four weeks of intensive work at the gym and eating right, I managed to completely ruin/sabotage my success in just a few days.

CONGRATS TO ME!

You think I’m exaggerating, but let’s compare last Tuesday (8/20/2013) to this Monday (8/26/2013).

Last Tuesday, the scale read: 133.8.

I was so happy, I even took a picture of it:

Ah, sweet memories.

Ah, sweet memories.

It was a momentous occasion. I was officially lower than I had been since 5th grade.

This morning, the scale read 139.2.

The difference?

I still hit the gym five days last week. Each time, I burned no less than 400 calories, most days over 1,000 calories.

The only difference was that I cut myself slack on a few days with my diet. I let myself splurge and now I’m paying the consequences. I gave myself an inch and my f*cking weight took the whole damn mile.

Here’s the breakdown of my calories last week, care of MyFitnessPal.com. Let me know when you spot the downward trend:

Monday 8/19/2013:

Consumed: 1,227. Burned: 1,130

Consumed: 1,227.
Burned: 1,130

Tuesday 8/20/2013:

Consumed: 2,085 (bad!) Burned: 1,050 (at least it cancelled out)

Consumed: 2,085 (bad!)
Burned: 1,050 (at least it cancelled out)

Wednesday 8/21/2013:

Consumed: 1,822 Burned: 423 (Starting to notice a trend here? Yeaaah.)

Consumed: 1,822
Burned: 423
(Starting to notice a trend here? Yeaaah.)

Thursday 8/22/2013:

Consumed: 1,271 Burned: 1,051 (Am I back on the straight and narrow?! Redemption!)

Consumed: 1,271
Burned: 1,051
(Am I back on the straight and narrow?! Redemption!)

Friday 8/23/2013:

Consumed: 2,380 Burned: 851 (It's Friday. My only cheat day, I promise.... right?)

Consumed: 2,380
Burned: 851
(It’s Friday. My only cheat day, I promise…. right?)

Saturday 8/24/2013:

Consumed: 3,710 Burned: 67 (Oh, for fuck's sake. I literally consumed a pound of excess calories today.)

Consumed: 3,710
Burned: 67
(Oh, for fuck’s sake. I literally consumed a pound of excess calories today.)

Sunday 8/25/2013:

Consumed: 1,907 Burned: 91 (Might as well enjoy the morbid obesity.)

Consumed: 1,907
Burned: 91
(Might as well enjoy the morbid obesity.)

 

Yes, I was very bad last week. But, in doing the math, assuming I need 1,500 calories daily to MAINTAIN my weight and anything over that (that I don’t burn off) results in weight gain, how did I GAIN SIX POUNDS?!?!

Mathematically, it doesn’t make sense.

I consumed a total of 14,397 calories last week. (That just SOUNDS horrific).

Assuming 1,500 to live (and not factoring in my exercise) I should have not consumed more than 10,500. That puts me at a surplus of 3,897 calories – roughly a 1.5 pound weight gain if I round up.

However, adding in my burned calories, which was roughly 4,663 in total cardiovascular/strength exercises (not counting the normal day-to-day living stuff), I should STILL BE AT A DEFICIT for the week.

I should be at: -766 calories for the week net. I should have stayed around the same weight or even have lost an ounce or two.

BUT NO.

No, not my body. I’m up SIX GOD DAMN POUNDS.

I could punch something. I’m debating punching myself.

People often tease me for how regimented I am. For the fact that I count every calorie and obsess over what I put in my mouth. Do you SEE now why I have to do this?! Is this not proof? I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted for 50% of last week – and still hit the gym hard five days in a row – and I’m up the weight of a god damn baby!

Is there a food baby in my lower intestine or something?! A beautiful, rosy-cheeked six pound LARD BABY rolling around in my duodenum?

UGHHHHHHH.

So angry. So frustrated. So ready to kick this week’s ass.

You thought I was hardcore before… watch me.

~ Tori

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Physically Impossible? Not for me.

  1. jessicampalmer says:

    Have you ever thought it might be muscle? Or at least some of it being muscle and the rest of the gain fat…?

  2. Christina says:

    OMG, this is my life to a “T”. I have keep off a vast majority of my weight for the last ten years. Very regimented with food and logging. I live my life around those numbers, and of course the number on the scale. (daily weight checker here). Numbers rule my life now instead of the food (calories, carbs, protein, fat) but in the end its still the food obsession, I have just put the food into numbers:) I workout extremely hard at least 5 days a week, and rarely achieve the goals I feel I should, scientifically speaking I should be CRUSHING it with dropping the LB’s, but nope. Stuck at 180 for three years. Bring on the binge eating behaviors, usually because I am feeling sorry for myself at this point, the why can’t I eat like everyone else, my body constantly hurts I work out so much, for what??? I tell myself. One Hershey kiss leads to five, leads to well I already had Hershey kisses, might as well have a handful of chips, and since I’m back on the “wagon” tomorrow I should defiantly have an ice cream cone……And then S#&T I’m up five pounds for one splurge day, just like you technically speaking I had enough calories to cover what I have had that it should in no way warrant five freaking pounds! I can get to 174 but only if I eat 1,000 or less calories a day, which in turn I feel like crap and run down. I have also struggled with anorexic behaviors off and on over the years as well. I am really starting to think when you lose a large amount of weight something weird happens to your system, screws it up. I have been to a nutritionist and they say I don’t consume enough calories I should eat 1.900-2,200 a day. I BALLOON up at that number!! So frustrating!! This is your only blog I have read so far and can’t wait to read more! Saw your story on huffington Post, congrats!! And it brought me here. Thank you for sharing!! Sometimes I feel very isolated with this struggle, and a little crazy đŸ™‚ So glad you put it all out there and were courageous enough to share!

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