If only
telling myself “no”
were enough to
stop me.
If only
will power lasted
beyond the 12th hour.
If only
my memory weren’t so selective when sugar
is on the tongue.
If only
the self-hatred didn’t
battle
with the taste buds.
If only
it were so easy…
…today would be better.
-tori
Really, that’s all that needs to be said. Anyone that has followed this blog for more than a week knows that Mondays are the day of the week that are most painful for me as a yo-yo dieter.
Ashamed of my weekend. Determined for my week. Depressed. Committed. Sad. Prepared.
I decided a poem was in order.
Because, really, how can you be depressed when something has a lovely cadence and the words rhyme? A well-constructed poem can make a eulogy sound like a nursery rhyme.
So here goes:
Victoria was a dieter, Who counted every bite. She tracked each tiny morsel, And logged it all by night. She found the time to run, She hardly ever skipped the gym. Every effort that she could make, Her attempt to live life slim. Turning down a slice of pizza, Saying no to each cupcake. Her will power was infallible, Her calorie allowance wasn’t fake. She huffed and puffed and cried, The sweat, it always poured. Yet her body rarely changed, The scale, she, too,abhorred. You’d think one day she’d adjust, And learn to love her frame. But an act of biased futility, Is a handcuff just the same. And so she’ll keep on counting, Deprivation will be her law. Until one day she wins the battle, When her self-doubt does withdraw.Hoping for a good week,
~ Tori
I wrote the following poem between sprints on the treadmill at the gym.
Consider this my attempt to make up for not having my video blog ready to post on Sunday, as originally anticipated. Editing’s not easy work, folks!
Until the bitter voice,
of self doubt
is silenced,
forever.
To escape the demons
of my insecurity,
the evil whispers
of my skewed vision.
To be free.
No matter how far I go,
I cannot escape the ghost
of my former
self.
She haunts me
Taunts me,
Mocks.
And so I run.
The voice cannot shout
louder than the wind.
Faster.
********
Video blog coming this week, I promise!
Bon appetit,
~ Tori
The Memoirs of a Yo-Yo Dieter 