Still Here!

I didn’t post Friday-Sunday, but it wasn’t because I fell off the wagon: I was literally just so exhausted each day from my action-packed weekend, I didn’t have the steam (or motivation) to post!

Friday my grandmother came to spend the day with me to celebrate her 74th birthday. She’s like the perfect combination between a crazy, eccentric German woman and a toddler; she’s brilliant and funny, but if you don’t keep your eye on her, she runs off and eats sand or something.

She loves the beach, so I took her to New Smyrna Beach!

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Kidding, kidding, but she does require a lot of energy and attention. She lives alone, so when we’re together she basically pummels me with conversation, which is definitely enjoyable but surprisingly exhausting after a few straight hours.

She’s also a diabetic who refuses to eat right, so I’m constantly aware of what she’s doing, eating, and drinking, making her check her blood sugar and cancelling her order (and getting herself she should be eating) when she turns her head at the restaurant.

Saturday, my husband and I spent the whole day at Disney World and had a blast. We ran around Magic Kingdom all afternoon, and then wrapped up our evening at Epcot. Despite our workout that morning, we still managed to get in an additional 20,000 steps (putting me at almost 38k for the day!) by the time we got home around 11pm. Yeah, needless to say, we crashed hard that night.

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On Sunday, we went out to lunch with friends (Vietnamese! Pho is my jam!) and then went to the Orlando City Soccer Game that night.

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Yes, I budgeted calories for that Jell-O shot, and it was worth it!

All three days, I managed to control my eating and stay on track, not to mention getting in a hardcore workout every morning!

After a successful weekend, I am going into my new work week back down to 134.2 lbs, down a staggering 7 lbs since Monday last week! I know it’s not realistic or sustainable to lose 7 lbs in one week, and I’m sure much of this is water weight, but it still put me in a great mood this morning and further reinforced my commitment to sticking to this as a lifestyle tweak, not a diet.

Hoping for another great week, and I’ll try to get back to posting daily from this point on, but I make no promises.

~ Tori

A Weekend in a Bathing Suit

For the first time in years, I spent more of the weekend undressed rather than clothed. By undressed, I’m referring to the fact that I spent most of the weekend in my bathing suit.

This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal – I am a Floridian, after all – but for someone like me, this was pretty huge. Spending an extended period of time in the Lycra equivalent of a bra and panties is quite the test for someone with body image/weight issues.

Saturday, I went boating with friends. For six hours, I sat in a bathing suit with 9 other people. People I trust, of course, but vulnerable and exposed nonetheless. Amazingly, I felt great. Comfortable, even. I didn’t worry about how my body looked and just enjoyed the sun, the water, and the company of my friends.

Monday was more of a test: a public beach. Hundreds upon hundreds of men and women – also mostly naked – looking and judging. Yes, there were times on the beach where I felt uncomfortable (some people really do stare and it’s not enjoyable), but I felt at ease for the most part.

What used to be a dreaded (and often avoided) necessity – wearing a bathing suit – became a natural and casual experience. I didn’t worry. I didn’t think about it, really, except for when I caught someone watching me in that observant, judgmental way I recognize from my heavier days. It was rare and I brushed it off for the most part.

This weekend was a very freeing experience. I feel more comfortable with my body as a result. Perhaps a few more weekends spent in a bikini and I’ll one day grow to love my body. Here’s hoping!

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Don’t judge me for the dreaded duck-face; this was after five hours of hot sun and a few beers. I was feeling… happy. 🙂

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori