Milestone: 90 lbs Lost

I realized something pretty significant a few moments ago: as of yesterday, I’ve officially lost more than 90 lbs since high school.

At my peak, I weighed in around 214 lbs at the end of junior year.

I was large. I was exhausted. I was not comfortable in my own skin.

It dawned on me today that yesterday’s weigh in (under 124) meant that I had officially crossed the 90 lbs marker.

Am I doing the math right? Have I really lost the body weight of a 13 year old? Wow.

I never imagined it possible to be this weight. I never imagined wearing clothing from the mall or not being stared at by people as I ate. It really seems to be sinking in today how far I’ve come.

I’m not normally one to take bathing suit shots (not a fan of my stomach due to the excess skin), but I wanted to at least take a moment to commemorate this milestone in my journey of weight loss, fitness, and overall good health.

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I feel strong. Proud. Accomplished.

Today is a good day.

Bon appetit, my friends!

Tori

A Weekend in a Bathing Suit

For the first time in years, I spent more of the weekend undressed rather than clothed. By undressed, I’m referring to the fact that I spent most of the weekend in my bathing suit.

This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal – I am a Floridian, after all – but for someone like me, this was pretty huge. Spending an extended period of time in the Lycra equivalent of a bra and panties is quite the test for someone with body image/weight issues.

Saturday, I went boating with friends. For six hours, I sat in a bathing suit with 9 other people. People I trust, of course, but vulnerable and exposed nonetheless. Amazingly, I felt great. Comfortable, even. I didn’t worry about how my body looked and just enjoyed the sun, the water, and the company of my friends.

Monday was more of a test: a public beach. Hundreds upon hundreds of men and women – also mostly naked – looking and judging. Yes, there were times on the beach where I felt uncomfortable (some people really do stare and it’s not enjoyable), but I felt at ease for the most part.

What used to be a dreaded (and often avoided) necessity – wearing a bathing suit – became a natural and casual experience. I didn’t worry. I didn’t think about it, really, except for when I caught someone watching me in that observant, judgmental way I recognize from my heavier days. It was rare and I brushed it off for the most part.

This weekend was a very freeing experience. I feel more comfortable with my body as a result. Perhaps a few more weekends spent in a bikini and I’ll one day grow to love my body. Here’s hoping!

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Don’t judge me for the dreaded duck-face; this was after five hours of hot sun and a few beers. I was feeling… happy. 🙂

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori