Lemon Coconut Creme Paleo (and Candida-diet friendly) Cake!

As I mentioned before, a close friend of mine has been struggling under the confines of a very restrictive diet (Phase I of the Candida-diet) and the lack of variety has been very draining on her.

Her birthday was last week and I knew she was very upset that not only could she not indulge on her birthday with a drink, a birthday cake was totally out of the picture.

Or was it?

I decided I was NOT going to let her celebrate her 28th birthday without a sweet treat to make it special. Working with no grains, no sugars, and limited approved ingredients would make for a challenge, but I was ready to test my culinary prowess.

This is what I made my best friend:

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What you are looking at is:

Grain Free, Sugar Free, Dairy Free, and 100% Paleo-Approved.

And, most importantly, DELICIOUS.

How did I do it?

Well, if you recall, a few weeks ago I decided to experiment with a Candida-approved Italian bread recipe that turned out REALLY well.

Running with that variation, I decided to see if I could turn a savory bread into a sweet cake with some mild variations. After FOUR experiments (using different measures of coconut milk, eggs, and flour ratios), I came up with the following PERFECT cake mix:

PERFECT PALEO (SUGAR FREE!) LEMON CAKE:

3/4 cup unsweetened, pure coconut cream
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup almond flour
1/3 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut fiber
1/2 cup granulated Stevia
1 tsp gluten-free baking powder
1 tbsp alcohol-free pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp sea salt
2 tbsp coconut oil
4 whole eggs
2 egg yolks
Zest of one lemon
Juice of one lemon, with pulp

The cake would be prepared like any other cake: dry ingredients are first in the bowl, and then you’ll fold in the wet ingredients.

Place dough (it’ll be thick, but pliable) in a 9″ round cake pan that you’ve greased ahead of time. I used organic coconut oil spray, but you can go with whatever oil you prefer.

Bake for 25 minutes at 350.

But what is a CAKE without icing?

Now, I knew I’d never recreate a perfect, fluffy icing …and if I did, I realized it would be very temperature-weak, since it would have to be comprised of coconut oil which melts at pretty much any temperature over 72 degrees. So, I decided to forgo a traditional icing and aim for a lemony, zesty glaze to drizzle on top. After dabbling, I landed on the perfect recipe cited below.

ZESTY PALEO (SUGAR FREE!) LEMON ICING GLAZE:

1/3 cup unsweetened, pure coconut cream
4 tbsp coconut oil
Zest of 1/2 lemon
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1/4 cup coconut flour
1 egg white
1/3 cup stevia
1 tbsp alcohol-free pure vanilla extract

The icing is best prepared in a sauce pan on the stove, stirring NONSTOP until it thickens. Pour over cake while still warm. You’ll have a ton with this recipe, so think of this like a Lemon Tres Leches cake!

And there you have it! My best friend got to enjoy a slice of REAL CAKE on her birthday, and I had a real win in the kitchen!

For those of you worried about calories, the entire cake was roughly 2,100 total (with the icing included), and that worked out to about 10-12 slices, depending on how heavy-handed you are with your servings. If anyone wants a full nutritional breakdown (I have it!), let me know!

So, what are you waiting for? Time to start baking!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Valhalla Bakery – The Real Trip to Heaven!

Let me preface this post by saying immediately: THE CAKE MENTIONED IS NOT PALEO, nor is it any way diet-friendly, which is why I absolutely loved it.

As I’ve said on here many times, I’m trying to learn to be less obsessive about my relationship with food, and with that comes a leniency –no, a revelation and enjoyment– of the occasional splurge. This post is about one of those splurges.

Back in April, I attended the Florida Film Festival opening night party, which featured booze, decadent food, and the talented film elite of Central Florida. While there, I discovered a vendor passing out TO-DIE-FOR cupcakes, and made a mental note to look her up on Facebook later to commission a cake from her.

True to my word, I searched for her the very next day – April 10th – and immediately asked what steps I needed to take to secure a delicious, heavenly scumptoid for a holiday get together. Valhalla Bakery Inc., run by the coolest tattoo-covered, blue-hair sporting woman I’ve ever met, truly lives up to its name.

Since both my husband and I LOVE key lime pie, I ordered a custom Key Lime Pie Cake for Father’s Day. Now, I don’t *technically* have kids with my husband (yet), but we do have two fur-babies, and I considered Father’s Day to be the closest acceptable holiday to show up with a cake, since there was NO WAY I could hold out until my birthday in July.

Needless to say …this was the best Father’s Day ever. Check out this miraculous cake:

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In case you can’t read it, it says: “Happy Father’s Day! Love Taco & The Black Bat!” The baker cracked up when I placed the order. What can I say? We love our doggies.

Dear God… it’s beautiful. It truly is Valhalla!

I can’t begin to accurately describe how wonderful this cake is. Layers of moist cake (thicker than normal cake; it actually tastes like the crust of a real key lime pie, but extra thick), sweet cream icing, and a heavenly glaze of key lime deliciousness (honey based, I think?) that made it downright sinful.

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I didn’t ask about calorie-content or worry about how many miles I’d have to run to burn it off.

I ate a slice that day, and a second slice the next day, and damn it… it was worth it. 🙂

We froze the rest to enjoy at a later date, but I can say it was an act of sheer will power not to dig in with my hands and just shovel the rest in. Valhalla Bakery, you win at life! ❤

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

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Baaaaad Girl!

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Warning: non-healthy food idea!

This is officially the least healthy item to come out of my kitchen in over two years.

Homemade fudge cake with an ENTIRE JAR of Nutella blended into the batter. A full bag of Brookside dark chocolate pomegranate bites mixed in, as well, for good luck.

Topped with homemade fudge icing, sprinkles, caramel corn, melted milk chocolate, and caramel.

This is diabetes waiting to happen, people.

And the best part? It’s a gift for someone else! Muahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.

My new strategy: fatten everyone up so I look skinnier by comparison.

Yesssssss. It’s diabolical, but it just may work.

On that note… bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori