I Hate You, But I Love You

Dear Hide and Seek Alarm Clock,

I hate you. No, like, I really hate you.

You’ve ripped me from slumber four days in a row, and you’re planning to do it again tomorrow.

You yellow bastard on wheels.

Between your refulgent disco lights, your blaring, cacophonous siren, and the fact that you THROW YOURSELF OFF OF MY NIGHT STAND AND HIDE UNDER MY BED, you are guaranteed to wake me up, thus breaking a lifelong romance with the snooze button.

You abhorrent piece of cheap plastic and sticky rubber wheels.

I hate you, but I love you SO much.

Because of you, I’ve gone to work with my entire workout already finished, freeing up my evenings for personal time.

Because of you, I’m finding my sleep patterns to be slowly changing, and now I’m going to bed at 11pm versus my normal 1 or 2am.

Because of you, I’m feeling accomplished before the sun rises.

Because of you, my husband is happy as a clam: he no longer has to endure the snooze buttons of the 46 alarms I normally have set on my iPhone (no, seriously, it was bad).

Thanks to you, you wanna-be Roomba, I’m building the habits and behaviors I want, and not settling for the ones I have.

Today was a good day. I ate about 100 calories more than I planned, but I worked out hard and the food was good, so I do not feel guilty. This is life.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Sleep is the Cure

For the past two weeks, I’ve been on a “normal” schedule.

And by normal, I mean I have not balanced two full-time jobs and graduate school simultaneously. I’ve worked just ONE full time job and attended my two graduate classes, which has allowed me to do something I hadn’t done in nearly a year:

SLEEP.

Not nap, but SLEEP. Full, deep, nightly sleep.

For two whole weeks, I’ve averaged no less than six hours of sleep per night. Last night, I got a solid eight hours. EIGHT HOURS!

compute

My mind doesn’t even know how to grasp the concept of “eight hours of sleep.”

Now that I’m well rested, I’ve found controlling my appetite to be substantially easier. Yes, I’m still working to get over the sugar cravings (seriously, I’d created a severe addiction the last nine months while working at the TV studio), but I can control my portions and stop after a few bites (versus the murdurous rampage I’d go in before, like a shark smelling blood in the water).

hate

Seriously, this was my life for the entirety of the last year balancing the two jobs. I had -100% will power.

I’ve also noticed my skin is nearly perfect again, no pimples or dark spots from lack of sleep and raging hormone fluctuations. Woohoo! I’m no longer the pubescent 30-year-old!

I’ve been hitting the gym 5-6x per week, not because I need to, but because I want to. I’m energetic and excited, so I feel even more motivated to exercise than I did before.

I have NOT been weighing myself (I’m trying to allow my body to get back into a healthy food/sleep cycle again before I tackle weight concerns), but I can feel my clothing getting back to its normal fit: loose where it should be, not as constrictive as it was just a few weeks ago.

Huh.

Funny.

Sleep truly was the cure to most of my problems.

Appetite control? In check now that I’m not a walking zombie.
Skin problems? All gone.
Lack of energy? Nope, not anymore. I’m high on life.
Cranky? Depressed? Amazingly, I feel like I’m happier now than I’ve been in years.

While I absolutely miss working at The Daily Buzz, I have to admit that I was sacrificing a lot –too much, honestly– and I finally feel like I’ve got my life back.

On that note… bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

I’m Alive …sort of.

Sorry for the long silence on here.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been trying to find a way to make peace with my body.

You see, I decided to go back to the TV studio, and now my crazy schedule from last fall has returned. That means 18-20 hour work days again, coupled with graduate school. Yeah, not sure when I will sleep, either, so don’t ask.

I’m terrified, of course, because the last time I did this schedule, I gained 10 lbs … and I’ve had an ongoing battle to remove it ever since. In fact, my weight has been in flux since August, which was only two weeks into this schedule last time, so you can imagine my anxiety now that I’ve hit the two week point again.

I’m trying to be strategic about squeezing walks into my work days, and I bought an abdominal ball to sit on while in the studio. I keep an 8 lb hand weight at my full-time job, and I’m really just trying to move as much as possible. My success will come from squeezing exercise into my day versus trying to sacrifice sleep for gym time, which failed miserably the last time around.

Won’t be posting daily on here anymore, but I will do my very best to check in every few days to stay accountable.

Wish me luck!

– Tori