The Yo-Yo’s Fall

It has definitely been a while since I posted, and I have to admit, I’ve been dreading it.

My weight this morning was 148 pounds.

While I know this extra-high number was contributed to by three very salty weekend meals and Aunt Flo, I know that my true weight –which is likely closer to 144 or 145 lbs– is very much a fact.

In the last three years, I’ve managed to put back on 22 lbs from my all-time low in June 2014.

The last ten pounds were packed on in the previous three-four months. No real reason for it, either. My life has been good. I’m not overly stressed, I’m at the tail-end of my graduate degree, and I’m at a really good place in my life. Honestly, I’ve just been overeating and exercising less, and I have no real cause other than a bit of apathy.

As I stared at the scale this morning, though, I decided I was ready to get back on the wagon.

I’m ready to be honest with myself and admit that more of the clothing in my closet is too tight to zip, and that I’m slowly slipping back into my pre-2013 dresses; a weight/size I’m not OK with and don’t want to get back to.

While I’m still down almost 70 lbs from my all-time high (of 214 lbs), I am not OK with the fact that I’ve let myself take so many steps back from my goal weight and all the success I worked so hard to achieve.

I am back to being transparent with myself: tracking calories, exercising daily, and not eating back the calories I burn. This yo-yo is ready to pull herself back up from the ground and bounce back into the proud, fit, and athletic version of myself that I love a HELL of a lot more than this tubby, tired one I’m dealing with right now.

I’m recommitted to sharing my journey here –the good and the bad– and I’m asking all of you to help me stay transparent.

On that note, it’s time for dinner. A healthy, balanced, and not chocolate-centric dinner.

Bon appetite, my friends!

~ Tori

I Hate You, But I Love You

Dear Hide and Seek Alarm Clock,

I hate you. No, like, I really hate you.

You’ve ripped me from slumber four days in a row, and you’re planning to do it again tomorrow.

You yellow bastard on wheels.

Between your refulgent disco lights, your blaring, cacophonous siren, and the fact that you THROW YOURSELF OFF OF MY NIGHT STAND AND HIDE UNDER MY BED, you are guaranteed to wake me up, thus breaking a lifelong romance with the snooze button.

You abhorrent piece of cheap plastic and sticky rubber wheels.

I hate you, but I love you SO much.

Because of you, I’ve gone to work with my entire workout already finished, freeing up my evenings for personal time.

Because of you, I’m finding my sleep patterns to be slowly changing, and now I’m going to bed at 11pm versus my normal 1 or 2am.

Because of you, I’m feeling accomplished before the sun rises.

Because of you, my husband is happy as a clam: he no longer has to endure the snooze buttons of the 46 alarms I normally have set on my iPhone (no, seriously, it was bad).

Thanks to you, you wanna-be Roomba, I’m building the habits and behaviors I want, and not settling for the ones I have.

Today was a good day. I ate about 100 calories more than I planned, but I worked out hard and the food was good, so I do not feel guilty. This is life.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Super Simple Protein Oats!

OK, I know it’s not exactly Paleo (who am I kidding? It’s totally not Paleo), but I’ve been obsessed with oatmeal lately. I was just buying the single-serve packets to quench my cravings, but I looked over the ingredients and was shocked to find how much JUNK was in them. Even the organic brands had a lot of sugar added, and it seemed the only way to avoid the unnecessary simple carbs and “natural flavorings” (seriously, what is that crap??) was to make it on my own.

On Monday, I decided to prep my breakfasts for the week, and I wanted to make it as simple as possible. I took four mason jars and filled them with oatmeal, vanilla protein powder, stevia, cinnamon, and cashew milk. I had no idea how it would taste, but decided to make five of them and hope for the best.

HOLY DELICIOUSNESS, BATMAN!!!

These things are amazing. Instead of eating them cold (as overnight oats), I’ve nuked them for about three minutes and they turn into this warm, almost oatmeal-cookie esque bread pudding that’s to die for.

For roughly 320 calories, I’m getting a solid 35g of protein and 5g of pure fiber goodness. And, most importantly, only 1g of sugar (33g total carbs, but I’m not doing a restrictive diet here)!

In case you want to recreate this vanilla cinnamon orgastic breakfast, here’s what I’m using:

  • 1/2 cup organic, steel-cut oats
  • 1 scoop of Isopure Vanilla 0g carb protein powder (pricey, but worth it)
  • 1 cup Silk Unsweetened Cashew Milk
  • 1 tsp cinnamon powder
  • 1/3 cup Stevia powder (more or less to taste)
  • Between 1/2 cup to 2/3 cup water, added a few drops at a time while microwaving

Mix-in Ideas:

  • 1/4 cup organic raisins (roughly 100 calories)
  • 1/4 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (roughly 200 calories)
  • 1/4 cup pumpkin puree (roughly 40 calories)
  • 1 tbsp chocolate chips (roughly 80 calories)

You can realistically get away with microwaving this about 90 seconds if you just want it to be warm and thick, but I discovered that cooking it longer makes it puff up noticeably (imagine a cake rising) and give the illusion of substantially more food. If you do microwave past 90 seconds, consider adding a few tbsp of water every 30 seconds or so and stirring. I cook mine roughly three minutes and it turns into a MASSIVE bowl of doughy/cakey oats, which is my FAVORITE. If you prefer porridge-style oats, definitely cut the time to less than two minutes.

Oatmeal

 

FYI: I know this is a terrible picture, but it smelled so good and I was so raring to eat it, I honestly didn’t care about getting a good picture. It smelled like the oatmeal cookies your grandmother used to make.

And the added plus? This keeps me full for HOURS! I ate this around 10am yesterday in the office and didn’t touch my lunch until after 3pm. As someone who normally grazes all day (and eats religiously every 2 hours, hungry or not), that’s saying something about the staying power of this simple dish.

So, these oats prove it: there really is no excuse for not eating a healthy breakfast every day. I literally prepped five of these in under five minutes Monday morning, and they take less than four minutes to heat/cook. It would’ve taken me 2-3x the amount of time to stop somewhere and grab a breakfast sandwich, and they’re substantially more filling than my usual protein-bar-out-the-door routine.

What’s your excuse?

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

 

Trying to Get Back on the Wagon

Man… it has been a rough few weeks when it comes to my health/fitness.

My weight has continued to go up, week over week, and my sweets-cravings are through the roof. I am a STRESS eater and I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Candy has become my best friend …and the worst enemy of my waistline.

I’ve promised myself I won’t weigh-in until Friday, but I can tell you the scale and I did NOT have a pleasant interaction this morning. I worked out 5x last week, but I also indulged in tons of cookies and salty snacks – more than I could cancel out with even the most intense workout.

I’m hoping that one week of rigid discipline will get me back on track, so I’m going to post my calories/meal plan on here for accountability and to try to keep myself on track.

Here’s my food plan for the day:

2am: Quest Cookies and Cream Protein Bar (180 calories)

5:30am: Two OIKOS Plain, Fat Free Greek Yogurt Cups (160 calories)

9am: 100 Calorie BetterOats Oatmeal and 1 cup Blueberries (170 calories)

12pm: 2 cups raw spinach, 3 oz Oscar Mayer Rotisserie Chicken, 1 cup sliced carrot chips, Spicy Guacamole (224 calories)

3pm: Sugar Free Chocolate Muscle Milk (100 calories)

5:30pm: Natural Almonds Snack Pack (100 calories)

8pm: Grilled Chicken Breast and Stir-Fried Veggies (approx 280 calories)

By eating every few hours, I anticipate never feeling “out of control” with my hunger and I’m hoping to quell sweets cravings by snacking on fruit (blueberries) and chocolate protein shakes.

If I can stick to this diet all day (I’m good so far — as of my 9am meal), I will allow myself a 90-calorie Chocolate Pear Squeeze Treat (sooooo good). If I hit the gym (as planned) and do at least 30 minutes of cardio, I’ll swap out the Chocolate Pear Squeeze Treat for one of the 150-calorie Paleo Brownies I made last week. 🙂

It’s all about compromise, preparation, and holding myself accountable this week. Wish me luck!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

 

Mondays

Ah, here we go again.

Another Monday.

Yet another re-commitment to my diet. To a better lifestyle. To everything that is good and wholesome and caring for my body.

My weight jumped back up today, which I can only attribute to the massive dinner I had Saturday night at Kobe’s. Soy sauce, noodles, and rice – OH MY!

Good God, they give you a ton of food there. Despite spending 90 minutes on the elliptical and 15 mins running fartleks on the treadmill that afternoon, I couldn’t cancel out the massive amount of calories I consumed in one sitting.

Why is it SO easy to consume 2,500 calories and yet SO hard to burn it back off?

It’s unfair that I can take thousands of calories into my body in just minutes but it takes HOURS of vigorous exercise to burn them back off.

Seriously, was this God’s practical joke on the human race? Make food delicious, readily available, and chock full of calories and then make it ridiculously hard to expend enough energy to burn it off? Then, to top it off, introduce a society that glorifies thinness and collarbones and you’ve got a bona fide eating disorder on your hands.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

Sorry, I’m in a bad mood today. I’m just tired of the fact that I work out EXTREMELY hard and then sabotage my own success by pigging out. I love food too much – but it doesn’t love me back.

There once was a lady name Tori,
Who, with food, she had quite the love story,
They got in a fight –
And try as she might,
She couldn’t kick its ass out the door-y.

[A bit of a forced rhyme, but you get what I’m feeling here.]

Tired of the yo-yo,

~ Tori