I Hate You, But I Love You

Dear Hide and Seek Alarm Clock,

I hate you. No, like, I really hate you.

You’ve ripped me from slumber four days in a row, and you’re planning to do it again tomorrow.

You yellow bastard on wheels.

Between your refulgent disco lights, your blaring, cacophonous siren, and the fact that you THROW YOURSELF OFF OF MY NIGHT STAND AND HIDE UNDER MY BED, you are guaranteed to wake me up, thus breaking a lifelong romance with the snooze button.

You abhorrent piece of cheap plastic and sticky rubber wheels.

I hate you, but I love you SO much.

Because of you, I’ve gone to work with my entire workout already finished, freeing up my evenings for personal time.

Because of you, I’m finding my sleep patterns to be slowly changing, and now I’m going to bed at 11pm versus my normal 1 or 2am.

Because of you, I’m feeling accomplished before the sun rises.

Because of you, my husband is happy as a clam: he no longer has to endure the snooze buttons of the 46 alarms I normally have set on my iPhone (no, seriously, it was bad).

Thanks to you, you wanna-be Roomba, I’m building the habits and behaviors I want, and not settling for the ones I have.

Today was a good day. I ate about 100 calories more than I planned, but I worked out hard and the food was good, so I do not feel guilty. This is life.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Office Weight Loss!

Starting this Monday, August 15th, my office is starting a weight loss challenge. Normally, I’d be excited to participate (the more motivation, the better!), but this year is different: they’ve asked me to host/lead the challenge.

Wait, what?

After years of experimenting with diets and developing a consistent gym routine, somehow along the way I became an expert, of sorts. Most people in my office refer to me with questions about nutrition, fitness, and health-related concerns and, without consciously trying, I realized I’ve developed quite a passion for helping others on their journey to good health.

When my colleague asked me to lead the Weight Loss Challenge, she jokingly referred to me as the Jillian Michaels of the office. Not in the “damn, you’re a hard ass” sort of way, but more the “you’re an expert and we know you’ll push us” way.

I’ll admit it: I’m flattered.

While my own weight fluctuates between 125 lbs and 145 lbs depending on my eating habits, I’ve managed to stay between a size 4 to 6 (down from a 22) for almost four years and I’ve kept my overall fitness – my health and strength – at a very high level, even when my “love chub” is a bit higher than I like.

As a result of this consistency and perseverance, many people now look to me for guidance and inspiration, which is mind-blowing to me. The student has become the teacher? I feel like I’m still learning, but others feel I’ve learned enough to help them on their way, and that’s a very humbling and rewarding feeling.

To help motivate and lead the weight loss contest, I’m looking to develop a “double prize” program:

  • We’re going to have an INDIVIDUAL contest, which looks just at individual weight loss percentage. (Not pounds, but overall body weight percentage, to be fair.)
  • We’re also going to have a TEAM contest, which will match up three people and encourage them to motivate one another to lose weight.

I’m working to figure out additional challenges/contests for the TEAM participants, as I want this to be more than just about a number on a scale: I’d love for this to be about seeing your body grow stronger, healthier, and more vibrant.

Does anyone have ideas for office-friendly contests or challenges I can introduce for a team?

I would love any and all feedback! Thank you for reading and bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Bursitis? Tendonitis? …the GOUT?

Remember a few weeks back when I complained about my wrists aching from the Stairmaster?

Well, the pain is back …and with a vengeance.

I’ve spent the last week avoiding the stairmaster – and just about every upper body machine and free weight – due to excruciating pain radiating from both wrists.

I felt fine last Friday when I spent the day kayaking with my mother, and honestly don’t remember feeling any pain Saturday morning after spending two hours on the stairmaster, but sometime between Sunday and Monday, a terrible burning and stabbing pain began to radiate from both wrists and it hasn’t abated.

Per a quick symptom search on WebMD, I could have anything from carpal tunnel (doubt it, mainly because I’ve had it before and this is about 1,000,000x worse), to rheumatoid arthritis (oh, please no!) to gout.

Really? Gout? I didn’t realize it was 1615. I better warn the serfs that I shan’t be returning on the ‘morrow.

Following the advice of my dear friend Lonnie-Lou, I’ve been popping ibuprofen and icing both wrists, and steering clear of anything that might put further stress on them …other than typing, of course, because I literally couldn’t function in my daily life without my laptop.

Boy, you don’t realize how much you use your wrists for every day activities until they’re painfully sore with every movement.

Oh, did you want to zip your dress? Yeaaaaah, that’s not happening.
Scratch the back of your head? NOPE.
Heck, even brushing my teeth and combing my hair has become a dolorous, painful process.

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While this is cramping my style a bit, I’m taking it super easy this week at the gym, sticking to lower body movements and hands-free elliptical, and doing what I can to not injure my wrists any more. If the pain isn’t gone by next week, I’ll be seeing a specialist.

Let’s hope it’s not the “king’s illness” (aka, the nickname for gout), and I won’t have to give up my red wine habit. :/

On that note… bon appetit, everyone!

~ Tori