dieter

Not your average Monday…

2 Comments

Unlike all of my other “Monday” posts of the past, this is not a depressed, lamenting, regretful, or I-swear-I’m-committed-this-time post. For the first weekend in several months, I didn’t go crazy.

Yes, I had a few weekend delicacies.

Some wine, some junk food, even a beer or two snuck into the picture.

I didn’t work out at ALL on Saturday, unless you count laying out by the pool with a book as an intensive yoga session.

Seriously, this totally counts as a workout. Creating Vitamin D and producing melanin is a lot of work.

Seriously, this totally counts as a workout. Creating vitamin D and producing melanin is a lot of work.

This weekend, I did NOT lose my mind and go on a wild, eat-anything-that-fits-in-my-mouth rampage as I normally do.

I even managed to hit the gym on Sunday morning [6 days last week – thank you, Gym Pact!] and squeeze a bike ride in that evening.

As a result of this new-found weekend sanity, my weight did NOT sky rocket this morning.

When I got on the scale today I was 138.6.

Yes, slightly up from Friday, but that was expected given the salty snacks and delicious beverages I had consumed the night before. Normally, my weight on Monday morning is 3-5 lbs higher than I was on Friday morning, as the discipline and hard work I’d executed during the workweek is normally shoved into the back, dusty cabinets of my brain, only to be remembered when the alarm clock sounds at 7am Monday morning to announce the return of the routine.

I broke the tradition and remained [somewhat] disciplined throughout the weekend.

Tonight, after dinner, I was 138.2.

So, despite eating normally all day, I had shed some of the water weight I had carried over from Sunday.

I don’t want to jinx myself… but I think I’m reaching a point of consistency – of healthy routine – with my diet and exercise. Eating well and working out is becoming second nature and I’m finding myself less inclined to binge just because it’s a holiday, a weekend, or a “special” occasion. I didn’t have to think about it this weekend; it just happened that way.

I… I think I might be on the path of cutting this yo-yo string once and for all.

Here’s hoping,

~ Tori

Image

GymPact WORKS!

3 Comments

20130809-173210.jpg

So, I’ve just finished my fourth week using the GymPact app.

As you can see, I have NOT skipped a workout in four straight weeks. Other than one week with a hectic work schedule, I’ve committed to five workouts every week and bet $10 each time that I’d follow through.

Funny how dedicated you can be when money is on the line, right?

My weight is down slightly (137 this morning) despite a voracious appetite, so all of my cardio must be adding up.

Ah, the power of a Hamilton.

Bon appetit, my friends!

-Tori

Image

Food Porn, Take Two

Leave a comment

20130806-183741.jpg

Homemade mango salsa:

Fresh mangoes (literally, they are right off my friend’s tree), organic tomatoes, organic avocado, red onion, organic lime juice, and fresh cilantro.

Served over organic, grass-fed beef meatballs (beef, tapioca flour, egg, onion powder, garlic, salt, and pepper)  and steamed broccoli.

Delicious!

Bon appetit,

-Tori

The Poem of the Yo-Yo

Leave a comment

Mondays.

Really, that’s all that needs to be said. Anyone that has followed this blog for more than a week knows that Mondays are the day of the week that are most painful for me as a yo-yo dieter.

Ashamed of my weekend. Determined for my week. Depressed. Committed. Sad. Prepared.

An endless cycle.

WW_weight_loss_yo_Yo

I decided a poem was in order.

Because, really, how can you be depressed when something has a lovely cadence and the words rhyme? A well-constructed poem can make a eulogy sound like a nursery rhyme.

So here goes:

Victoria was a dieter,
Who counted every bite.
She tracked each tiny morsel,
And logged it all by night.
She found the time to run,
She hardly ever skipped the gym.
Every effort that she could make,
Her attempt to live life slim.
Turning down a slice of pizza,
Saying no to each cupcake.
Her will power was infallible,
Her calorie allowance wasn’t fake.
She huffed and puffed and cried,
The sweat, it always poured.
Yet her body rarely changed,
The scale, she, too,abhorred.
You’d think one day she’d adjust,
And learn to love her frame.
But an act of biased futility,
Is a handcuff just the same.
And so she’ll keep on counting,
Deprivation will be her law.
Until one day she wins the battle,
When her self-doubt does withdraw.

Hoping for a good week,

~ Tori

Image

Nature’s Path Blueberry Cinnamon Flax Oatmeal = YUMTASTIC

Leave a comment

Nature's Path Blueberry Cinnamon Flax Oatmeal = YUMTASTIC

OK, so I realize that this is NOT a Paleo-approved breakfast, but I happened to find this oatmeal on clearance at Whole Foods one day last week [it wasn’t old; I think the manufacturer changed their box design and Whole Foods HATES to be behind the times, you know], so I decided to pick up a box to try it out.

This stuff is AMAZING.

Not too sweet, extremely hearty, and packing only 160 calories per package. For the last two mornings, I’ve made myself two packets [320 calorie breakfast – nice and hearty] and had a cup of tea with it. I’m shocked to say it keeps me full for HOURS. I’m not exaggerating: HOURS.

Yesterday, I had my oatmeal around 10am and didn’t feel my first pang of hunger until almost 3:30pm. And I wasn’t trying to skip lunch – I was just that satisfied that I didn’t even notice the passing of the time.

This hot cereal boasts sweet blueberries, crunchy flax seeds, and the perfect balance of cinnamon and brown sugar. It’ll please the kids and the health nuts alike.

You know, one of my only gripes about the Paleo diet is the lack of breakfast options – you have to be PREPARED for breakfast with Paleo baked goods or time to spare to fry up some eggs – so this is the meal I most often find myself cheating.

If you’re going to cheat… might as well try to make it a healthy cheat and I think Nature’s Path Blueberry Cinnamon Flax oatmeal is the way to do it!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

A Mini Success

Leave a comment

It dawned on me today that I’ve gone almost seven weeks without a severe binge/breakdown.

Yes, I’ve had several “bad days” where I’ve consumed FAR more than I should, but I haven’t totally lost control.

Yes, I’ve had a few days where I popped a diuretic or a laxative – but not an entire package.

[I’m ashamed to say I’ve done that before. It’s RIDICULOUSLY painful. And God forbid you sneeze.]

While I’m still upset on a daily basis regarding my weight, my size, my shape, and my overall fitness, I haven’t succumbed to the monster inside me that begs for my weakness.

But I’ve thought about it.

God, I think about it all the time.

I imagine what would happen if I did it. I play through the steps in my mind.

  • Four Bloat-less pills for maximize water loss.
  • At least 9 Correctols to ensure the cramping and pain is sufficient to punish me for my binge and powerful enough to eject everything not nailed down from my intestines.
  • Two caffeine pills to ensure I can’t sit still. If you’re moving, you’re burning calories.
  • A Bronkaid to kill my appetite for the future.

Pop all of them, back to back, and chase it with as much water as I can hold. Fight the gag reflex as my body responds in a Pavlovian fashion, always aware of the pain I’m trying to induce and fighting against me. Body versus mind, mind versus body.

The memory of pain isn’t enough to convince the mind that it isn’t worth it.

The mind wins.

You don’t have to be a pharmacist to know the concoction above is horrible, if not potentially fatal, and yet I will admit I’ve done it before and will likely do it again.

Today, though, is a mini success. I’ve made it at least seven weeks. I pray for seven more, then seven more after that, and seven, and seven, and seven again for all eternity.

But for now, I’ll accept today. Today is a good day.

~ Tori

Mondays

3 Comments

Ah, here we go again.

Another Monday.

Yet another re-commitment to my diet. To a better lifestyle. To everything that is good and wholesome and caring for my body.

My weight jumped back up today, which I can only attribute to the massive dinner I had Saturday night at Kobe’s. Soy sauce, noodles, and rice – OH MY!

Good God, they give you a ton of food there. Despite spending 90 minutes on the elliptical and 15 mins running fartleks on the treadmill that afternoon, I couldn’t cancel out the massive amount of calories I consumed in one sitting.

Why is it SO easy to consume 2,500 calories and yet SO hard to burn it back off?

It’s unfair that I can take thousands of calories into my body in just minutes but it takes HOURS of vigorous exercise to burn them back off.

Seriously, was this God’s practical joke on the human race? Make food delicious, readily available, and chock full of calories and then make it ridiculously hard to expend enough energy to burn it off? Then, to top it off, introduce a society that glorifies thinness and collarbones and you’ve got a bona fide eating disorder on your hands.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

Sorry, I’m in a bad mood today. I’m just tired of the fact that I work out EXTREMELY hard and then sabotage my own success by pigging out. I love food too much – but it doesn’t love me back.

There once was a lady name Tori,
Who, with food, she had quite the love story,
They got in a fight –
And try as she might,
She couldn’t kick its ass out the door-y.

[A bit of a forced rhyme, but you get what I’m feeling here.]

Tired of the yo-yo,

~ Tori

 

Bad Decisions

4 Comments

Two days in a row, I’ve skipped the gym.

Two days in a row, I made really bad food choices. I skipped lunch, then gorged when I got home. The day before, I pretty much polished off a box of Kix cereal all on my own.

What gives?

Last week, I had the will power of a saint. This week, I’m like a flailing infant, unable to keep my arms and legs in check. I’m eating everything, letting my laziness overpower my desire to workout, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going to be forever stuck in the 140-141 plateau.

IMG_1774

I’ve faced some criticism lately, where people tell me that I AM at a healthy weight and I need to stop being obsessive.

What people don’t seem to realize is that I’m 5’2″. I’m very petite, so 140 on my frame is different than 140 on the frame of an average [5’5-5’7″] woman. For me, 140 means thick thighs, squishy tummy, and arms that wiggle and shimmy like leaves on the breeze.

For my frame and height, I should probably be between 120-125.

Of course, I wouldn’t know for a fact what my true ideal weight is because I’ve NEVER been there.

I was in the 140s-150s in elementary school, the 150s-170s in middle school, and the 170s-214 range in High School. I’ve never been my ideal weight, so I’m basically guessing as to where it should be.

If I keep up with my current habits, my ideal weight will remain that: a guess and not a reality.

I really need to get myself into gear and stop making excuses. I’m still signed up for GymPact and I have to get 3 more workouts in during the next 4 days or I lose $10/session. At the minimum, that should get me moving!

Enough bemoaning the past. Today is a new day. I will make better decisions. I have kickball tonight, so that should be fun. 🙂

As always, my friends, bon appetit –

~ Tori

Paleo Dessert Option (and it’s portable!)

Leave a comment

Since I do NOT want to talk about my eating habits this weekend [not good, people, not good], I thought I’d use this morning’s post to talk about a DELICIOUS new treat I discovered for those on Paleo diets like myself:

Happy Squeeze – Organic Superfoods – TREAT: Chocolate Pear.

Simple package, decadent contents.

Simple package, decadent contents.

These little 90 calorie treats are just short of spectacular. A blend of organic pear, organic white grape juice, organic vanilla extract, and organic cocoa, these pouches taste like sweet chocolate ice cream that has been blended by the gods themselves into a perfect, portable package – no refrigeration necessary! They taste great at any temperature, in fact, and they feature a resealable cap, which is a unique option for this type of snack option. Probably because this particular brand caters to a younger audience [I admit it: I’m eating baby food, people] that likely won’t finish an entire pouch in one sitting.

Oh, I don’t have that problem. I have to force myself to slow down and savor these little babies because they taste THAT GOOD.

I’ve gotten into the habit of freezing them and enjoying them as an alternative to coconut ice cream for when I need a sweet snack before bed. In addition, when they are frozen they serve a dual purpose if you pack lunch: an ice pack AND dessert! BAM! That’s a win:win in my book.

This “TREAT” [that’s it’s actual name!] is the perfect serving size, a petite 3.5 oz, which is just enough to satisfy a craving, even on a full stomach.

In researching them on Amazon.com, I discovered that they come in a variety of flavors [OMG, they have Caramel Apple!] and they average about $1-$1.75 per pouch.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

You have to promise not to tell anyone, OK?

……

…..

…

Alright… here’s the scoop:

I found these at Big Lots for just 50 cents per package.

I KNOW. Just 50 cents!

So, before you order these delectable delicacies online, check your local Big Lots to see if they have them in stock. The store near my house carries a surprising variety of organic and Paleo-friendly snack foods [organic beef jerky, even!], so I always stock up when I see a new item there that I can eat. For just 50 cents a package, I bought DOZENS of these TREATS for later consumption.

Yum, yum!

Bon appetit, my friends – and happy bargain hunting along the way!

~ Tori