The Required New Year’s Resolutions Post

OK, you all knew it was coming… the infamous resolutions post. This is the expected annual tradition for any of us that has an unhealthy vice (which is practically 99.9% of humanity, I’m sure) and, for many people, it feels like an act of futility. While I’ve been a bit down lately regarding my weight and eating habits, I recognize the opportunity that comes with setting resolutions for a new year.

You see, I am a naturally competitive person and I thrive on goal-setting and benchmarks. In fact, I am most religious with my workouts and diet when I have a very clear, defined goal and a due date that I’m trying to accomplish.

For example, every time I’m invited to be in a wedding party as a bridesmaid, I make it a point to order a dress size SMALLER than what I need. (Literally, I won’t be able to zip the dress or, if I can zip it, I can’t breathe.) And, every time, I’ve managed to lose the weight (despite months and months of plateaued weight prior) in time to comfortably wear the dress for the ceremony.

There is something about a tangible goal – and putting my money where my mouth is by purchasing the dress ahead of time – that gives me the dedication of a saint, the self-command of a drill sergeant. So, with that being said, I’m outlining very goal-specific resolutions for 2014 that I hope will serve as the commitment I need to whip myself into shape.

So, here we go!

2014 Resolutions:

  1. Participate in at least ONE organized run/obstacle course per month. (Will be signing up for several races tonight – AKA, paying a lot of registration fees!)
  2. Complete a half marathon before before my 30th birthday. This run is practically starting in my backyard and supports a great cause, so there isn’t an excuse not to do it in March.
  3. Wear a size 2 dress on my 30th birthday. I’m currently shopping around for a nice one (trying to make sure it’s not stretchy, so I can’t “cheat” by squeezing myself into a size smaller than I am) and I will post a picture here once I’ve ordered it.
  4. Complete a full marathon before January 1st, 2015. (Dates past March 2014 aren’t posted yet, so I’ll have to wait to register for a marathon until later in the spring).
  5. Be more dedicated to the Paleo lifestyle. I will do this by spending the money on true, Paleo ingredients so I stop cheating with dairy, wheat, and soy. Julian’s Bakery and Caveman Cookies will become good friends in 2014.

I know I will be adding to this list of resolutions shortly, as I tend to create new, smaller goals to help ensure I hit the big ones. I just wanted to vocalize (and publicly commit) to some of my resolutions now before I have a chance to recant on them.

Between now and January 1st, I’m trying to stop stressing my weight and just enjoy good friends, good food, and good spirits. My weight has been teetering between 132-135 despite missed workouts and a crazy diet, so perhaps I won’t spiral into morbid obesity after all. I’m a little squishier around the middle, but I think that’s encouraged this time of the year, considering all the hugs we like to give out. If anything, I’m doing a favor for my family and friends – no one likes to huge a washboard or a wood plank, right? Right.

On that note, it’s time for a homemade brownie. Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Weigh-In Wednesday

I skipped this last week (out of shame).

I really, really wanted to skip this week (out of greater shame) but I’m doing it anyhow.

Today’s weight: 136.0.

I’ve been on a steady incline, fluctuating between 133-136 for the past two weeks. My all-time low was 129.8 on November 22nd and I haven’t been able to get back to that sub-130 milestone since.

Perhaps if I could stop eating junk food, I could make it happen. Perhaps if I went to the gym more than three times a week, I could make it happen.

Waist: 27.75″

I’ve got a bit of a muffin top going in my size 4 jeans. They fit perfectly in November, they are snug in December. Let’s hope I don’t burst out of them in January.

I didn’t measure my thighs, mainly because I didn’t trust myself to not freak out. I can see that they’re wider, thicker, jelly.

I just need to make it through December.

I will regain control in 2014. Until then, I just need to survive.

~ Tori

 

 

The Holiday Diet Blues

I’m having a really hard time with my diet lately.

I’m having a really hard time with nutrition/health/fitness in general.

I love the gym, but I’m not going regularly. I love eating clean foods, but I’m opting for junk. I love being optimistic, but I’m sinking into a bit of a depression.

It must be the holidays…

~ Tori

Quick and Easy Crockpot Paleo Chicken

A quick and easy recipe for Paleo-on-the-run!

Ingredients:

  • One pound organic, farm-raised chicken breasts.
  • One jar (16 oz) organic salsa. (I do the SPICY kind!)
  • One large yellow onion, chopped.
  • One large green bell pepper, chopped.
  • 1/2 cup chopped green onions.
  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro.
  • 1/4 cup chili powder.
  • The juice of two limes.
That is one of the biggest onions I've ever seen. It must weigh two pounds.

That is one of the biggest onions I’ve ever seen. It must weigh two pounds.

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in your crockpot. If the salsa doesn’t fully cover the meat, add a cup of water and an additional tablespoon of chili powder to ensure the meat and veggies are submerged.

I put my crockpot on high and let it cook for about three hours. The other option is to put it on low and let it cook all day, but I’ve discovered it has a tendency to get saltier that way (cooks down all of the water). If you need to cook it all day, consider adding extra water and use a low-sodium/no salt added salsa & spice mix.

Chili Powder

Chili Powder (Photo credit: artizone)

Serve with Paleo wraps (Julian Bakery makes them – a bit expensive, but convenient!) or over cauliflower rice!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Slipped

I didn’t post my Weigh-in Wednesday update yesterday. You may or may not have noticed.

Why?

I slipped.

I went on a binge for the first time in several weeks.

Yes, I’ve over-eaten junk food several times in the past month, but I’d always maintained control. I stopped myself. I splurged and then regained composure.

Last night, I didn’t stop.

Screen Shot 2013-12-05 at 11.30.57 AM

I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop.

I started innocently. Healthy. A piece of salmon. Some cheese.

Then beer. Chips. Cookies. Chocolate.

I couldn’t stop shoving food into my mouth. My stomach growled, my brain roared. My husband came home during the middle of my binge. Normally, that snaps me out of it.

This time, I kept eating.

He asked me if I was hungry.

“No.”

He asked me why I kept eating if I wasn’t hungry.

“I don’t know.”

He suggested I eat some baby carrots – they would fill me up and I wouldn’t feel guilty.

I went into the bathroom to shove cookies into my mouth.

I finally stopped around midnight, not because I was full, but because I had run out of accessible junk food. The only options left were apples, carrots, celery … not the satisfaction you want during an episode.

My husband, confused (and likely disgusted), took our puppies for a walk while I sulked on the couch. When I was sure he was gone, I slipped into the medicine cabinet and pulled out my hidden supply of laxatives. I’ve told him, and everyone else, that I don’t buy them anymore.

(There is a box hidden in my car. Another in the kitchen.)

One pill? Three?

FIFTEEN.

Fifteen small, pink pills. Fifteen guarantees of pain, of redemption. Fifteen annular gifts, each promising to purge my stomach and my soul.

The pain this morning was unbearable. Knife in the stomach, tearing a burning path into my lower intestines. Cramps, exaggerated by dehydration, crippled my abdomen. It feels as if you’re slowly digesting a belly full of razor blades. You can feel the acid churning.

I sat in a hot bath at 4:30 in the morning. I prayed, vows of lies and false promises.

“God, if you make this pain go away, I promise I won’t binge again.”

“I swear I’ll throw the box of laxatives away.”

“I will start fresh tomorrow. I will eat right. I will exercise. I will take care of myself.”

“I promise to love the body you’ve given me.”

Each lie, greater than the last.

The pain subsided, a combination of warm water and 800 mg of ibuprofen, and I climbed back into bed, damp and despondent.

My husband slept, my puppies snored, and I cried.

It wasn’t until 8am that the true effect of the pills kicked in and, despite the previous hours of suffering, I couldn’t help but smile when the scale consigned a loss.

Laxatives: 1, Scale: 0

Self-Esteem: -1,000,000.

~ Tori

  • Slips (thewavesofrecovery.wordpress.com)

Holidays vs. Will Power

York Peppermint Pattie

OK, I still plan to post my “Weigh-In Wednesday” segment later today, but I needed to take a moment to vent (scream) about my severe lack of control the past two weeks with regards to candy.

I have literally been consuming 50% of my daily calories in the form of sugary, processed treats. While delicious, this is a HORRIBLE habit and one that I thought I had broken many months back. Unfortunately, thanks to the over-preparation of many of my colleagues for Halloween visitors, there has been a surplus of “fun-size” and “minis” floating around my office that would make any dentist cringe (or celebrate, depending on their excitement on the profits from potential cavity fillings).

Yesterday alone, I had 2 mini milk chocolate Hershey bars, a mini Butterfinger, 2 mini York peppermint patties, and 2 fun-size bags of mini Reese’s peanut butter cups. Yeaaaaaaah. Over 500 calories of pure JUNK!

English: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Minis.

So, what’s the solution? How do I break this trend?

I’m consuming over 2,500 calories per week in pure candy (probably closer to 5,000, to be brutally honest), which is resulting in an utter stand-still in my weight loss and the cancellation of my sweat-filled workouts.

I can’t stop. Candy has become crack. How do I break through this bad habit?

How do people maintain their will power through the holiday temptations?

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

~ Tori

Wednesday Weigh-in, Week Two (A Day Late!)

Whooooops!

Even though I remembered to take a photo and weigh myself yesterday, I absolutely forgot to post my details. Wow, only two weeks into this new habit and I’m already missing due dates. Ha!

I blame the holidays. I spent the day with my family only to come home to house guests, so it was a hectic (but fun) day!

I'm trying to wear the same outfit for every weigh-in photo so you can see the small nuances and changes to my body.

I’m trying to wear the same outfit for every weigh-in photo so you can see the small nuances and changes to my body.

 

Weight: 134.0

(This actually upsets me, as I had gone down to 129.8 on Friday of last week, but I had a feeling that was due to dehydration… oh well.)

Waist/Thighs: unknown.

(My husband misplaced my measuring tape.)

I’m concerned that I’m going to take a major step back with today’s Thanksgiving eating, so I’m planning to go for a long run and get a workout in before I gorge on all of the good stuff. Hopefully I can make it to next week’s weigh-in without too much damage!

On that note, friends, it’s time to gobble ’til you wobble!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

 

Image

Tangible Success!

20131124-101807.jpg

OK, I know I have a tendency to stress out over the scale and that my weight naturally fluctuates as a result of being a woman, not due to sporadic efforts on my part.

With that in mind, I try to measure my success based on meeting certain goals.

In this case, it was a pair of size four jeans.

While a little snug (they are skinny jeans, after all), I am formally wearing size four jeans at both Express and Old Navy. I’m a solid five at Target and I only wear a six in Lucky Brand due to my wider hips (they don’t seem to like those bones for some reason). Even at the infamous Forever 21, I’m wearing their size 26-27 jeans and their dresses (mostly) in a small.

Regardless of what the scale says this Wednesday, I feel like I’m seeing success (finally).

And seeing is believing!

Bon appetit, my friends!

Tori

Weigh-In Wednesday: Week One

OK. Here goes.

Absolute transparency in the hopes it keeps me accountable.

weigh in 11.20.2013

Physical Concerns:

  • Stomach: it’s always the first area of my body to show my lack of regimen. If I gain an ounce, it shows up on my stomach.
  • Thighs: specifically, my left thigh, which is chubbier than my right. This picture accentuates it.
  • Upper Arms: no matter how many push-ups I do, I can’t seem to get my biceps lean and toned.

Today’s Weight: 135.0 (yup, it’s up)

Waist: 28.5″ (taken at the belly button)

Left Thigh: 21.75″

Right Thigh: 22″

I figured I should outline my goals here, since I’m going to post this weekly.

Goals:

  • Weight: 120-125
  • Waist: 26″ (or less)
  • Left Thigh: 19.5″
  • Right Thigh: 19.5″

Whew. This was harder than I expected it to be. It’s one thing to post my weight, another to post a picture – posting my weight, picture, and measurements all in one transparent parade is rather confounding. Fortunately, knowing that I have to do this again next week already has me thinking about the steps that I can take to make sure I’m healthy this weekend (so I show positive results next week).

Wish me luck!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

A New Feature to the Blog: Weigh-In Wednesdays

As I mentioned this weekend, I’ve really been bad lately with my diet and, as a result, my weight is up. I went from 130.6 just three weeks ago to a whopping 138 on Sunday morning when I stumbled onto the scale (after a weekend of gorging and excess). Since Halloween, I’ve really been letting myself just eat whatever I want (while still exercising 4-5 days per week) and I’ve learned that I just can’t get away with that with my body.

Unlike the rest of the world, I cannot exercise and eat what I want.

I will gain weight. FAST.

It’s unfair, but it’s the body I was given. I have to make the best of it. Awareness is the answer.

As part of an effort to hold myself more accountable, I’m going to publicly post my stats every Wednesday as well as a new (quasi-revealing) picture to show the progression of my body.

Starting tonight, I will post the following every Wednesday:

  • My weight (as taken in the morning)
  • My waist circumference
  • Left & right thigh circumference
  • A full body photo (shorts/sports bra)

I’ve been very regimented this week so far – a big thanks to MyFitnessPal & GymPact for keeping me honest with myself – and I went into the week with far more meal-planning than I had previously, so I’ve managed to keep my food intake in check and the scale is slowly creeping down.

Tonight, after work, I’ll be posting my first “Weigh-In Wednesday” and I hope that all of you can help to keep me encouraged, motivated, and accountable to my goals.

On that note, please watch for a post later this evening and, as always, bon appetit!

~ Tori