Author: Victoria Elizabeth

Victoria Elizabeth http://www.victoriaelizabethann.com Bubbly and enthusiastic, I am a lover of all things pink. My writing style is as eclectic as my personal library, so you'll see everything from dark poetry to light-hearted short stories posted in my portfolio.

Monkey Bars!

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As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve spent the last few weeks focusing on eating whole, clean foods and getting exercise (and sleep!), but not watching the scale.

It has been weird walking past the scale every morning and not hopping on, but after nearly a month of not weighing myself …it feels pretty satisfying to not feel the desire as heavily as I used to. I don’t feel guilty any more when I walk by, and I quickly forget about my weight once I leave the bathroom.

My husband and I spent the weekend very active, hitting the theme parks on Friday night (walked over 6 miles in three hours), and then the gym on Saturday. Sunday was such a beautiful day, I rode by bike all over Orlando, catching an independent book fair down the street and a lazy ride around the lake. In fact, between taking walks and riding my bike, I logged almost 11 miles outside moving around. Add to that nearly 2 hours at the gym (I got lost in a movie) and I torched over 3,000 calories just being active. Wow!

But here’s the major accomplishment this weekend:

I did a full set of monkey bars without falling.

While that may be a small achievement for 90% of active adults, that’s HUGE for me. I was overweight as a child and I was never able to complete a row of monkey bars. Ever. I’d always try and fall off after just one or two bars.

Last night my husband ran sprints in the field at the local elementary school and, while waiting for him, I decided to play on the playground. A few slides, a few runs on the bouncing bridge, and then I spotted the monkey bars.

I was sweaty, and I knew that my grip wouldn’t be strong. I tried to build up the consolation phrases in my mind for when I failed, since I knew it was going to happen. Right?

I decided to test my luck, drying my hands on my shirt and grabbing on the slightly sticky (Elmer’s glue?) bar and swinging my weight off of base.

The first two bars were purely the result of momentum, and I could immediately feel my shoulders tighten and my grip get loose.

Well, here’s where I fall, I thought. But no. I made it another bar. And then another. And then another.

Harder and harder to fight my moistening grip, but I used my body weight and my shoulders to propel myself forward. Before I realized it, I had made it to the other side.

What?! I made it to the other side!

For the first time in my life – childhood and as an adult – I had made it across an entire row of monkey bars. WOOOHOOOO!

My upper body was strong enough to lurch me across twelve feet of treacherous “lava” below (isn’t that what you called the mulch on the playground) and land safely on the platform on the other side.

I don’t know about you, but that was better than any weigh in I’ve ever had.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Sleep is the Cure

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For the past two weeks, I’ve been on a “normal” schedule.

And by normal, I mean I have not balanced two full-time jobs and graduate school simultaneously. I’ve worked just ONE full time job and attended my two graduate classes, which has allowed me to do something I hadn’t done in nearly a year:

SLEEP.

Not nap, but SLEEP. Full, deep, nightly sleep.

For two whole weeks, I’ve averaged no less than six hours of sleep per night. Last night, I got a solid eight hours. EIGHT HOURS!

compute

My mind doesn’t even know how to grasp the concept of “eight hours of sleep.”

Now that I’m well rested, I’ve found controlling my appetite to be substantially easier. Yes, I’m still working to get over the sugar cravings (seriously, I’d created a severe addiction the last nine months while working at the TV studio), but I can control my portions and stop after a few bites (versus the murdurous rampage I’d go in before, like a shark smelling blood in the water).

hate

Seriously, this was my life for the entirety of the last year balancing the two jobs. I had -100% will power.

I’ve also noticed my skin is nearly perfect again, no pimples or dark spots from lack of sleep and raging hormone fluctuations. Woohoo! I’m no longer the pubescent 30-year-old!

I’ve been hitting the gym 5-6x per week, not because I need to, but because I want to. I’m energetic and excited, so I feel even more motivated to exercise than I did before.

I have NOT been weighing myself (I’m trying to allow my body to get back into a healthy food/sleep cycle again before I tackle weight concerns), but I can feel my clothing getting back to its normal fit: loose where it should be, not as constrictive as it was just a few weeks ago.

Huh.

Funny.

Sleep truly was the cure to most of my problems.

Appetite control? In check now that I’m not a walking zombie.
Skin problems? All gone.
Lack of energy? Nope, not anymore. I’m high on life.
Cranky? Depressed? Amazingly, I feel like I’m happier now than I’ve been in years.

While I absolutely miss working at The Daily Buzz, I have to admit that I was sacrificing a lot –too much, honestly– and I finally feel like I’ve got my life back.

On that note… bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Last Week

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This is my last week working two full-time jobs, and it couldn’t be better timed.

My body is officially calling it quits, with a full-blown case of Strep throat knocking me out cold right after the Easter holiday. I only have to endure three more shifts of double-duty, and I officially go back to 9-6pm, Monday through Friday. I couldn’t be happier!

I’ve been eating very clean and not counting calories, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that my weight balanced back out at 131.2 after two weeks of just focusing on whole, clean foods and nutrition. I wasn’t weighing myself (and hadn’t planned to weigh myself again for a few weeks), but I accidentally kicked the scale and my curiosity was on fire. Good to see that my body responds to proper nutrition and good care.

I’ll have more to write later, but the antibiotics have me exhausted (and nauseated), so I’m going to take a little nap and check back online later.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Bon appetit, my friends,

~ Tori

Whole Foods = Health

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For the last week, I’ve really been putting my focus on whole, natural foods. Fresh fruits. Raw veggies. Minimally processed, organic when possible.

And, though I haven’t been weighing myself, I’ve noticed some differences already.

Skin is clearing. I don’t need my morning coffee. Hair feels softer, and more manageable.

Just by reducing my consumption of processed foods –especially sugars– I’ve noticed a major improvement on my physical health. My nails are growing faster, and the bags under my eyes are finally starting to recede.

Even if my weight never moved an ounce, I think I’d still feel confident that this is the way I’m supposedly to eat for life.

On that note… bon appetit!

Today’s breakfast!
Morning snack!
Midnight snack!
The best salad Crispers has to offer.
Who said you can’t eat healthy from a gas station? This is from Wawa!
Veggie tray!
It feels like it’s looking at me.
I love snap peas.
Best breakfast blend.
I love onions and peppers.
GUAACCCCC!
A boat full of salsa.
Apricots: nature’s candy.
Burrito salad!
So many onions!
Bad breath alert.
I like a little chicken with my salsa.
Snack during class!
The wrap is made of tomato and mango puree! Amazing.
Frozen mango = best dessert ever.
My favorite!
Veg blend!
Banana for energy!
Bird’s Eye makes the best blends.
Celery: AKA, nature’s floss.
Steamed with a little garlic salt and a drizzle of olive oil.
A sprinkle of parmesan for good luck.
Veggie overload!
I love D’anjoi pears.
Steak fajitas with no tortilla!
Salsa boat!
It’s all about that B!

(Just a small sampling of what I ate over the last week)

~ Tori

Absenteeism

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Absenteeism.

(noun)
frequent or habitual absence from work, school, etc.:

rising absenteeism in the industry.
This also applies to health, nutrition, and overall personal accountability.
This is my first post in nearly a month. In the last few weeks I’ve put my overall health and wellness to the side, and, as a result, my weight is back up to 136 pounds.
Rather than beat myself up (as I’m prone to do), I’m going to recognize this as a wake up call and a reminder that my body needs me to take care of it. It’s tendency to revert to its former self (I used to be 215+ pounds) is never going to go away, so I can never put my nutrition and health on a backburner. Life doesn’t work that way.
I’m not going to go crazy. I’m not going to commit to a ridiculous diet or exercise plan. I’m going to be realistic.
While I’m still working two jobs, I’ve reduced my hours at the studio and, as a result, I’m finally starting to get a bit more sleep. It’s still not as much as I should be getting, but I’ve gone from 2-3 hours per night up to 3.5-4.5 hours, with naps getting squeezed in when possible.
Now that I’m better rested, I think I’ll find it easier to make better food choices and more realistic to hit the gym 4-5 times per week.
I get out of the studio at 7am and, moving forward, instead of racing home to squeeze in a 60 minute nap before work (that leaves me groggy and more tired than I was before), I’m going to hit the gym for a 45-60 minute HIIT workout.
This will help to give me energy for my day, but, more importantly, will free me up in the evening to go to bed earlier. At present, I’ve been trying to workout between 6pm and 8pm at night (which tends to be the most crowded time, slowing down my workout) and I’ve found it hard to wind down for bed, because I’m running on the high and energy boost from my cardio. By working out from 7:15am to 8:15am (with time to shower and get to the office at 9am), I should find it easier to get to bed earlier at night (the goal is by 9pm) and the cyclical effect should be more energy, more sleep, and more hormonal balance.
I’ve stocked my fridge and freezer with healthy snacks — which includes pre-portioned freezer bags of fruit/veggies for morning smoothies — and I’m not committing to anything unrealistic: I’m just going to eat healthy, eat whole foods (avoiding processed as much as possible), and watch my overall portions. I want to live a healthy lifestyle: I don’t want to diet anymore. As you can see, diets don’t work for me. You can’t be absent from a healthy life, but you can definitely fall off of a band wagon for a crash diet.
That being said, I’ll try to post on here every few days with updates, but mainly I’m just going to focus on being healthy, being strong, and taking care of myself.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Bon appetit, my friends!
~ Tori

Confused, but happy …?

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I’m not sure what is happening with my body, but the last few weeks have been interesting.

I went from 131.8 to 139 in the span of seven days (with no major binge-eating on my part), and it stayed in that 137-139 range for almost six days. I was freaking out.

Then, suddenly, yesterday my body seemed to let it all go …

Not to be graphic, but the ladies room was my best friend. I felt like a faucet was turned on in my bladder and never turned off, and by the time I weighed myself this morning, my weight had gone from 137.8 (yesterday morning), to 130.8 this morning.

Really? Seven pounds? That’s obscene.

While I’m thrilled to be back in the 130-132 range (the thought of gaining 5-7 lbs in a week was terrifying to me), I’m horribly confused by my body and equally frustrated by the fact that I seem to have little to no control.

I’ve been eating closer to 1,500-1,700 calories (with yesterday as the exception, as I skipped dinner out of exhaustion and landed at around 1,200 for the day), and I’ve only made it to the gym one day (Monday) so far. I’ve reached a point where I’m at a loss for how to keep the scale moving steadily in a negative direction. In fact, I would settle for just staying the same.

Anyone have advice? How do I switch it up? How do I keep the motivation going?

I’m frustrated today, and my thoughts are highly disjointed (as you can probably tell), so I doubt I even make sense in this post. I guess the mixed emotions (happy to see the weight gain wasn’t permanent, frustrated by the massive fluctuations) are wearing me out …not to mention the hours.

On that note, bon appetit my friends!

~ Tori

Recap of Yesterday and Today’s Plan

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As expected, I didn’t stick 100% to my eating plan yesterday …which was a good thing. I realize, both due to introspection and the helpful advice of a friend, that I was setting myself up for failure, as I planned to eat way less food than my body needed to function on a 20+ hour work day.

My original goal was to come in around 1200-1250 calories, but I actually came in around 1,750.

Now, bear in mind that I was awake from 12:45am until 10:30pm yesterday, working job numero uno from 1:45am until 8am, and then job dos from 9am to 6pm. Following work, I hit the gym for 90 minutes on the elliptical from 6:30pm until 8pm, enjoyed dinner and a little social time with my hubby, and then crashed around 10:30pm …just in time to start the process again.

Where did my extra calories come from yesterday?

  • Trail Mix someone brought to a work meeting. (Except for the m&ms blended in, this wasn’t too bad.)
  • Four cubes of cheddar cheese after dinner.
  • Dried mango slices after dinner (this stuff is my crack/ candy).
  • 2 Hershey’s Almond Kisses left on my desk by an anonymous saboteur (whom I secretly love, because I needed some chocolate at the moment).
  • Toasted Coconut Almonds, which I made the mistake of buying before realizing that they’re as addictive as heroine. My husband and I have been unintentionally polishing off a can in the span of two days.

I’m not disappointed with my day, as I still ended with a calorie deficit (I burned approximately 1,166 calories in exercise yesterday, between the three 10-minute walks I took at work and my 90 minutes of elliptical), and I never really binged on anything, which is normally my biggest downfall. I’m not a have-one-or-two-bite-and-be-satisfied kind of girl. I’m more of eat-the-entire-bag-of-Dove-chocolates-and-then-hunt-down-something-else kind of lady, if you know what I mean.

Here is today’s gameplan:

Breakfast #1 (2:30am):
– Wawa Egg White and Steak Bowl w/ extra veggies (approx 220 calories)
– Wawa coffee w/ nonfat French Vanilla creamer (not Paleo creamer, but it’s all they had in the non-dairy spectrum, approx 60 calories)
– Gummy Prenatal Vitamin (20 calories)
– Gummy Biotin (15 calories)
TOTAL BREAKFAST ONE CALORIES: 315

Breakfast #2 (7am):
– 10 stalks of celery (30 calories)- Half Quest Cinnamon Roll protein bar (85 calories)
TOTAL BREAKFAST TWO CALORIES: 85

Lunch #1 (10:30am):
– Trader Joe’s Broccoli and Kale Salad, no dressing (260 calories)
TOTAL LUNCH ONE CALORIES: 260

Lunch #2 (1pm):
– Granny Smith Apple (80 calories)
– Half Quest Cinnamon Roll protein bar (85 calories)
TOTAL LUNCH TWO CALORIES: 165

Dinner #1 (5pm):
– Trader Joe’s Veggie Tray (125 calories)

Dinner #2 (9:45pm – or whatever time I get home from school):
– Crockpot Egg & Veggie Baked Thingie (approx 250 calories)

Other than a few walks at work, I likely won’t be able to workout today, as I’m in school from 6:30pm until 9:30pm and then will come home, eat, and crash.

Much like yesterday, I’ve planned for about 1,250 calories, but I’m positive I’ll come in closer to 1,400-1,500 by the time the human-me gets into the picture. If that trail mix reappears at today’s meeting, or the magic Hershey’s fairy pays a consecutive visit, I won’t be complaining.

On that note …

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

DAY ONE: Projected Eating & Food Plan

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I figured posting my food plan for the day on here would help me stick to it, so here goes. Please keep in mind that I’m awake 20+ hours per day, so it’s going to look like I eat a LOT (6+ meals per day), but this is unavoidable due to the fact that I can’t survive more than 4 hours without eating SOMETHING.

Breakfast #1 (2am):
– Medium Green Apple (80 calories)
– Cage-Free Hard-Boiled Egg (60 calories)
– Gummy Prenatal Vitamin (20 calories)
– Gummy Biotin Vitamin (15 calories)
– Coffee w/ Light Cream (45 calories) — technically, the cream isn’t Paleo [no dairy permitted], but I haven’t made it to Whole Foods yet this week to pick up the delicious coconut creamer.

P.S. I know it’s absolutely ridiculous that I still eat gummy vitamins at 30 years old, but it’s the only way I stay consistent. Who looks forward to a chalky pill every morning? No one. A delicious, sour-apple flavored vitamin? Yes, please!

Breakfast #2 (4:30am):
– Celery Stalks (25 calories)
– Cucumber Slices (30 calories)

Breakfast #3 (9am):
– Grilled Chicken Breast (110 calories)

Lunch #1 (12pm):
– Broccoli and Kale Trader Joe’s Salad, no dressing (260 calories)

Lunch #2 (3pm):
– Baby Carrots (35 calories)
– Grapes (105 calories)

Dinner #1 (6pm):
– Mango GemWrap (15 calories)
– Spring Mix (15 calories)
– Rotisserie Chicken Deli Meat (60 calories)
– Bolthouse Cilantro Avocado Dressing (20 calories)

Dinner #2 (9pm):
– Pan-fried (with Coconut Spray) Swai (130 calories)
– Steamed Butternut Squash (65 calories)- Garlic Cauliflower (80 calories)

Miscellaneous:
As you can see above, this adds up to about 1,050 calories, so I’m allowing myself a flex/cheat of approximately 150-200 calories to use at my leisure throughout the day. I’m not going to name it here, as I’m not sure what it will be yet! I’m not going to restrict myself on this cheat, with the exception that I’ll try to keep it as close to Paleo as possible: no grain, no dairy, no soy. My bet is that I’ll splurge on the leftover mango I have at home, or maybe steal a piece of two of extra dark chocolate from the office. We shall see!

I’ve struggled for a while to stay under 1,600 calories per day (impulse-eating, not planning out my meals), so I’m hoping this extra diligence and planning will serve to keep my calorie consumption in check!

Return to Basics

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I feel like I’ve turned into a recorded message on here:

“Sorry for the long silence.”

“Sorry for not posting.”

“Sorry for falling off the wagon.”

First and foremost, who am I apologizing to? You, the readers? Myself? The skinny woman I wish to be? I’m not 100% sure. I don’t think it’s healthy that I’m feeling so much guilt, sadness, and depression over it, though, so I’m going to work on that moving forward.

The last few weeks have been challenging, as I’m working 30-35 hours per week as a Producer (promotion – woohoo!), 40-45 hours at my full time job (recently promoted there, too!), and attending graduate courses two nights per week.

I’ve been sleeping on average of 2-2.5 hours per night, catching up on sleep on Friday and Saturday nights.

I’ve eaten healthy (for the most part), but the long hours and high stress have resulted in a slight weight gain. Here’s the kicker: I’m not actually weighing myself. Instead, I’m going off of how my clothing fits. I’ve really tried to break my addiction to the scale, and I’m proud to admit I’ve only weighed myself three times in the last five weeks. I can tell I’ve gained a little weight because my jeans are a bit more snug, but the size fours still fit – for now.

Before things DO get out of control, I’ve decided to pick back up on my strict Paleo diet. It always worked very well for me, wasn’t restrictive, and left me full and satisfied. I only slacked on it because it required advanced planning and, well, I’m admittedly lazy. However, I spent my Sunday morning grocery shopping and stocking my pantry, fridge, and snack drawer with caveman-friendly foods, so I officially have no excuse.

When I did strict Paleo before, I never counted calories …in fact, I probably ate double the calories on Paleo, but I dropped weight like it was a secret talent. When I first tried the Paleo diet in August 2012, I dropped 22 lbs in three months and actually exercised less: and I was constantly eating. While I definitely don’t have 20 lbs to lose, I wouldn’t mind shedding these 10 lbs – the 5 I put on over the holidays, and the 5 I couldn’t get off before (when I was constantly eating junk).

I won’t make promises about posting here daily, but I’ll try to check in 2-3 times per week. And if I don’t? Well, I won’t be sorry about it.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

I’m Alive …sort of.

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Sorry for the long silence on here.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been trying to find a way to make peace with my body.

You see, I decided to go back to the TV studio, and now my crazy schedule from last fall has returned. That means 18-20 hour work days again, coupled with graduate school. Yeah, not sure when I will sleep, either, so don’t ask.

I’m terrified, of course, because the last time I did this schedule, I gained 10 lbs … and I’ve had an ongoing battle to remove it ever since. In fact, my weight has been in flux since August, which was only two weeks into this schedule last time, so you can imagine my anxiety now that I’ve hit the two week point again.

I’m trying to be strategic about squeezing walks into my work days, and I bought an abdominal ball to sit on while in the studio. I keep an 8 lb hand weight at my full-time job, and I’m really just trying to move as much as possible. My success will come from squeezing exercise into my day versus trying to sacrifice sleep for gym time, which failed miserably the last time around.

Won’t be posting daily on here anymore, but I will do my very best to check in every few days to stay accountable.

Wish me luck!

– Tori