weight loss

The Path to Recovery

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After a week of stress-eating and skipping the gym, Monday brings a beautiful sunrise and a fresh look on life.

Last week, my husband and I lost a very close friend. In response to the pain, I ate.

And ate. And ate.

Did I mention EATING? I haven’t heard my stomach growl in over a week.

I stood on the scale today and wasn’t shocked to see the gain:

Nearly 5 pounds up.

Before, this would have been enough to put me into a spiraling depression. Fortunately, my view on life has changed dramatically as a result of the loss.

I shrugged it off, hopped off the scale, and continued getting ready for my day.

WOW.

I know an eating disorder isn’t cured over night. I also know that I will always, in the back of my mind, struggle over my weight, my eating habits, and my workout routines.

However, I would definitely say that I’m on a solid path to recovery. And I owe that to my dear friend, Greg. Rest in peace, brother.

Bon appetit, my friends,

~ Tori

Paleo Egg Pie

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Weird title, I know. I can’t really call it a quiche, though, because it doesn’t have a crust.

We’ve had company in town this week and I’ve been trying to prepare both delicious, economic [boys can eat!], and still Paleo-friendly meals daily.

The first day, I laid out a feast – huge pans of scrambled eggs, a heaping plate of turkey bacon, sauteed sweet potatoes with onions, toast [both regular and coconut-bread, for me!], fresh fruit salad, organic yogurt, etc.

We had a lot of potatoes leftover and I didn’t want to just microwave them and reserve them [for shame, hostess!], so I got a little creative and made “Paleo Egg Pie.” Recipe below:

  • Approx 2 sweet potatoes, chopped into 1″ pieces.
  • 1/2 sweet onion, diced
  • 6 turkey sausages, chopped into small pieces
  • 1/2 cup chopped mushrooms
  • 2/3 can diced tomatoes w/ chilis, drained well
  • 1/2 cup shredded pepper jack Daiya alternative cheese
  • 2 tbsp virgin, cold-pressed coconut oil

To start, microwave the chopped potatoes for about 90 seconds. This will reduce your cooking time IMMENSELY. Seriously, I do this with all potato recipes.

Place large skillet on stove. I had it around 60% heat. Throw the coconut oil into the pan and allow to melt. Add the onion and mushrooms and saute until transparent and tender. Add the potato and turn the heat up to around 80%. This will sear it a bit and make it nice and crispy on the outside.

Reduce the temperature back to 60% and add your chopped turkey sausage. I use the pre-cooked kind, so I’m basically just warming it up. Add the tomato/pepper mixture and stir until everything is heated through. At this point, I quickly scrambled 3 whole eggs and 3 egg whites and then poured the mixture over top of the pan. Make sure everything is evenly coated [all pan surface needs to be hidden.] If your pan is larger than the standard skillet, feel free to up this recipe to 8 eggs.

Sprinkle the Daiya cheese on top, reduce the heat to LOW, and cover the pan. Let sit for about 5-6 minutes, or until eggs set. Once set, remove pan from stove and slice into triangles, much like you would a pie. I served this with fresh salsa, chopped avocado, green onions, and more daiya cheese. The boys had NO CLUE it was Paleo!

For those who prefer more spice, feel free to add chili powder directly to the scrambled eggs and even some diced jalapeno into the mix!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Paleo Apple Cobbler… sort of.

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Seeking out comfort foods, I came up with the following recipe out of desperation and a desire to use those last few granny smith apples sitting in the fruit basket.

Not-Your-Granny’s Apple Cobbler:

  • 4 green apples, sliced and cored. [I left the skins on, but most people would probably remove them. I’m lazy.]
  • 1/2 chopped walnuts
  • 1/3 cup craisins
  • 1 cup Blue Diamond unsweetened vanilla almond milk. [only 30 cals per cup!]
  • 2 tbsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tbsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup raw honey

I literally just mixed this all together, threw it into my crockpot on low, and let it slow simmer for about four hours. When I got home, I topped it with So Delicious Vanilla Bean Coconut ice cream (no sugar added) and dug in.

It was sinfully good and the walnuts gave it a slight crunch and buttery texture, so I didn’t miss the crust at all. And this was ridiculously easy to prepare, with leftovers to enjoy for breakfast tomorrow! Not bad for a “what’s left in the pantry” concoction, if I do say so myself!

Perspective

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Very few things in my life have caused me to divert from my path of ardent obsession over my diet. Work has occasionally distracted me, but I’ve always returned to my habits pretty quickly. Happy moments – weddings, childbirths, etc – have caused me to forget about my weight for hours at a time, but the insecure thoughts would come tumbling back the moment the euphoria wore off.

For the last 48 hours, I haven’t thought about my weight. I haven’t cared what I’ve eaten or why I’ve eaten it. Food has been fuel and nothing more.

I lost a very close friend on Friday night. A motorcycle accident. Here one moment, gone the next.

In a flash, the light of someone I loved was extinguished.

It really put things into perspective for me. I’ve spent so many hours stressing, agonizing, and beating myself up over my body and my weight.

What if it were all gone tomorrow?

Would I be worried from Heaven as to how my body looked in the grave? Would I beat myself up for having that extra piece of chocolate if it were the last food I’d get to savor with a friend? Would I really care about so many superficial and trivial things if it were my last minute on this earth to speak my thoughts?

NO.

So why am I living my life this way now? Any moment could be my last. Why do I make them painful for myself more often than I make them good? That is not the way I want to live my life. Not now and never again.

While I don’t think I can break a decade’s worth of bad habits [eating disorder, obsessive weighing, counting calories], I vow to make a conscious effort to change my life and stop obsessing over the trivial. To let myself enjoy this life, while I have it, so that I can die knowing that I made the best of what I was given.

My friend that passed away was young, but he lived his life fully and deeply. He was honest, good, and loving. He took care of himself, but he didn’t stress the small stuff. If he had an extra serving at dinner, he laughed it off and pushed himself a little harder at the gym. It didn’t break his life into pieces.

I’m going to learn from my friend.

I’m going to ENJOY my life, one day at a time.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Paleo Mint Chocolate Chip TEA!

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OK, I know the name sounds weird, but don’t knock it before you try it.

This evening, I was craving something decadent and sinfully high calorie. I would have caved for that craving if it wasn’t 11pm at night and I’m allergic to Walmart. So I had to get creative in my kitchen stocked with healthy, Paleo-diet approved foods.

Well, it worked. I came up with Paleo Mint Chocolate Chip tea, which literally tastes like melted mint chocolate chip ice cream. It’s rich, it’s flavorful, and it’s less than 75 calories for the cup! Yessssss.

Here’s the recipe:

  • One cup [6-8 oz] boiling water
  • 1 tea bag organic, peppermint tea [steep until desired strength; I went DARK!]
  • 1 tbsp organic, unsweetened cocoa powder [only 10 cals!]
  • 2 tbsp organic, So Delicious brand vanilla coffee creamer [only 20 cals!]
  • 1/2 tbsp Enjoy Life chocolate chips [approx 35 calories]
  • One stevia/truvia packet, if preferred.

Steep the tea first, remove the tea bag, and then stir in the cocoa powder. Add the creamer so the liquid cools just a tiny bit, then stir in the chips.

Heaven in a cup!

Enjoy and bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

 

The Point of a Pint

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Everyone has a vice. For some, it’s drinking. For others, it’s food. Drugs, sex, gambling, etc. The list goes on and on. Some are more damaging than others, but all of them can impact our lives in a negative way.

I’m constantly questioning myself and others regarding where they feel their bad habit[s] originated.

Was food a comfort when you were upset as a child?

Did your family reward you with candy?

Did a bad break-up lead you to promiscuity in the hopes of boosting your self-esteem?

What was your catalyst?

I ask the question with the knowledge that most people either won’t have an answer or they will have MULTIPLE answers.

For me, food was often a reward. My grandmother used to take me out gallivanting when I was a child, with trips to fancy restaurants for decadent desserts the epitome of a great day. She was the child of post World War II Germany, so most of her youth was spent suffering from malnutrition, so she has spent the majority of her adult life making up for it. I just got to go along for the ride, acquiring a taste for pound cake, quality chocolate, and anything dipped in butter.

Food was also escape.

In high school, I used to eat purely for the joy of eating. The satisfying crunch of a salty chip could drown out the stress of final exams. The melting of ice cream on the tongue could erase the memory of being bullied in the halls.

As an adult, food is everything.

It’s nourishment and fuel.

It’s pleasure. It’s pain.

Punishment. Reward.

EVERYTHING.

So why does food do that for us?

What, exactly, is the point of a pint?

Does it fill a void? Does it allow an outlet for emotion?

A few years ago, I wouldn’t have had an answer. At least, not a healthy one.

Now, though, I think that a pint of ice cream [or a pint of beer, given your preference], is sometime just that and nothing more. It’s a sweet, creamy, decadent indulgence that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Sometimes, the point of a pint is just the opportunity to enjoy a tasty treat, give a long stretch, and congratulate yourself on living through the day.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Sunday Vlogs – Coming Soon!

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Starting on Sundays, I plan to post a weekly video blog in which I expound upon my thoughts on diets, workouts, dealing with an eating disorder, and just the overall emotions involved.

At this point, my video documentary has received over 200 views, 14 likes, and four comments. This tells me that people definitely relate to my struggles and that a visual medium is likely a good way to keep my story personal, real, and engaging for everyone.

I’m not a videographer by any means, so I’ll likely just do it in my office with my webcam, but I’ll try to “pretty it up” in iMovie and at least make it presentable. I plan to use this as a video confessional/diary.

If you have any thoughts, comments, or suggestions for topics, please feel free to email me:

victoriaelizabethann@yahoo.com

Bon appetit, my friends,

~ Tori

Paleo Cookies!

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On Sunday night, as I was prepping my meals and snacks for the work week, I began to have a massive craving for chocolate.

What’s new, right?

Well, even though I was letting myself indulge freely on Sunday, it made me think about the fact that I am BOUND to have more cravings throughout the week. And, if I didn’t have a plan in place, I was bound to cave, splurge on something bad, and then feel regret/guilt.

So I decided to take proactive measures and look up a recipe for Paleo desserts.

I found a basic recipe for cookies and, feeling creative, decided to doctor it a bit. I am happy to report that the results came out AMAZING. My husband was INHALING the cookies by the handful and he’s not even a big sweets-guy, so that’s a good sign. I decided I’d share the recipe on here so that my fellow cavemen and women [or gluten-free friends!] can enjoy a tasty, easy to make snack!

Double Chocolate Chip Paleo Cookies w/ Walnuts:

Ingredients:

  • 2/3 cup coconut flour
  • 1/2 cup cold-pressed coconut oil [you may need to warm slightly to get soft enough to mix]
  • 6 eggs
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 2 tbsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup raw honey or agave syrup
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened, natural cocoa powder [I went with Hershey’s but you can use whatever you’d like.]
  • 1/2 cup shredded, unsweetened coconut flakes
  • 1/2 cup crushed walnuts [or whatever nuts you prefer]
  • 1/2 cup Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips [soy free, dairy free, gluten-free, etc!]

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 degree.

I’m not a good student when it comes to following instructions for baked goods, so I just threw all of the dry ingredients into a big mixing bowl, then poured the wet ingredients on top, then stirred them like a BEAST for 2 minutes. Free arm workout!

I used a 1/4 cup scoop to make little cookie balls and then put them approximately one inch apart on a large baking sheet. This recipe makes a lot of cookies – probably 40-45 – so I ended up using two large cookie sheets to hold all of them.

I pressed the cookies flat, so they were roughly two inches in diameter and an inch thick.

Bake for 10-14 minutes to preferred texture. I like my cookies moist and chewy, so I aimed for 10 minutes and they came out perfect.

********

Unfortunately, I didn’t do the calculations on calories, but I can tell you these little cookies pack a sweet punch, so my guess would be between 100-150 for every two cookies. They are very rich, however, so two cookies should satisfy even the most ravenous of dessert-munchers.

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori

Monday

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Monday means different things to different people.

For some, it’s the start of another grueling work week. For others, it’s the excitement of returning to a rewarding environment. Classes, jobs, families, responsibilities. Mondays are the catalyst of beginnings.

For me, it’s the return to regimen.

Every Monday, I resurrect my diet from the ashes of my weekend and I vow to be good. I vow to drink my protein shake in the mornings, munch my salad for lunch, and control the wild, ravenous beast inside me at dinner time. I always manage to convince myself that this week will be different. I’ll tap into a magical store of will power and dedication formerly unknown and I’ll be different.

Every Monday, I promise that this will be the time I really change.

Oh, Mondays.

3.4.2013 Monday

Diet plan: PALEO

Starting weight: 139.4

Goal weight by 4.13.2013: 129 [sub-130, for the first time in my life]

Will this be the Monday I follow-through?

Let’s find out and see.

 

I’m optimistic that it is.

 

Bon appetit,

~ Tori

Breakfast of Champions

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I’ve been told that the secret to overall good health and wellness is to eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a starving college student who has maxed out his credit cards.

Well, I may not be able to control myself like a starving college student at dinner time just yet, but I definitely have breakfast down.

This morning, I was craving something heavy, fatty, and delicious.

To satiate that craving but still be somewhat healthy, I prepared my own take on chicken and waffles.

Using Van’s gluten-free, wheat-free waffles as my base, I pan fried two eggs and a sweet apple chicken sausage link [these are amazing on their own, by the way] to create a breakfast taste explosion on my plate.

Seriously, these taste way too good to only be 150 calories!

Seriously, these taste way too good to only be 150 calories!

Photo Credit: SweetBay Grocery Store

I chopped and layered the sausage [just 150 calories for a BIG link] over one of the waffles [230 calories for two], then blanketed it with the two fried eggs [140 calories using pam spray]. On top of that, I put a tiny drizzle of raw, organic honey [30 calories for a half tablespoon] and then sandwiched it with the second waffle.

I admit, this packed more of a calorie punch than I normally eat in one meal, coming in at a whopping 550, but for a Sunday brunch it totally hits the spot. Considering I ate late, I will likely offset the heavier breakfast with a light lunch. On the bright side, I am full, happy, and fueled for a productive Sunday of sitting on the couch in my PJ’s and doing homework. YESSSS!

Bon appetit, my friends!

~ Tori